#this might seem so silly but it’s actually proof that i’m doing a little better again
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cheekblush · 9 days ago
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actually so happy to be back reblogging pretty pictures <3
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tomatoluvr69 · 10 months ago
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What’s up tumblr hope you had a super fun leap day. sparkle on. big news my first seed start sprouted while I was at work ✨
#might have to change the url bc I’m in my collard era lol#my day was alright#I ate some shrimp curry that I’d accidentally left out all night and was fine bc I’m a scavenger of a person#then bc I started to feel PMDD fatigue I laid in bed with great elan til my shift started#then I spilled coffee all over my work clothes bc I stuck it in a very sketchy travel mug someone left in our house at the last party#and I listened to Screamin Jay Hawkins on the ride to work which was fun#work was a bit chaotic but uneventful and got to spend a huge chunk of it outside#it seems I have way better ball control than I did when I was a kid. whyyy now. i was such a loser I could have used some athleticism#but I’m so glad it’s the weekend so I can go palliative care mode which is what I call my lizard brumation pmdd phase#and stopped by a friend’s house after work which was nice#really rejuvenating#then made a sort of weird frittata w/ beets peppers and potatoes bc I was too tired to actually cook#watched sense and sensibility 1995 and really liked it although I found myself wishing for a bit more anguish. sorry#and I think I might set out one of the frozen almond croissants to proof overnight so I can bake it for bfast tomorrow#will go for a very short swim but probably only about 30 min bc of aforementioned fatigue. then pick up yogurt and a silly little treat#and will have ****** and **** for dinner either tomorrow or Saturday which will be nice#but really hoping Saturday because **** **** ** **** lol#and then Sunday I’m trepidatious about because **** was like what are you doing Sunday and I’m like well I guess having a fraught and#difficult conversation about our dynamic! lol#I’m very lucky to have proactive friends who are good communicators. truly I do not deserve his kindness. but like. god. let me retreat and#lick my wounds!#i shan’t get into it. but just know I know how S&G felt#and then another work week but I’m starting to really get a feel for the routine and what works and what doesn’t#and I’m excited for my next few meal preps we got millet and kale gratin#and a Lebanese chickpea dish the name of which unfortunately escapes me atm#but my mouth is watering thinking about it. saw a vid and was instantly influenced and went to the pantry to see if I had the stuff and I#dooooooooooo#and I do feel like I’m beginning to get past the worst of [event] and its sadness
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An opening message
Why am I doing this? That’s the question behind the eyes that stare at these arbitrary letters appearing onscreen. Why am I writing this blog? Why do I want to do this? What is the outcome I want? Who am I? Why am I?
And, as you’re reading this, you’re probably thinking, “Shit, not another existential crisis.”
(Same.)
But I’m asking this to myself, me, that person in the mirror (figuratively speaking, I’m looking at a laptop right now), because I have been meaning to get round to writing this blog for fucking ages, and has it happened? No. Why? Well, the issue in question seems to be the issue I have with everything I procrastinate – making too big a deal about it.
I’ve been having grand visions of this blog, you see. It may seem silly, on this free real estate site of chaos, but I have been reaching high up on the shelf of expectations when it comes to crafting my posts. My overall goal: Get out there as writer, demonstrate that I can write things.
To put it explicitly, I want to do a PhD, and it’s handy if you can show that you have the capability to take time and write something that could be published. I.e., you have a link you can send prospective supervisors and go, “Here it is! The proof that I can stick it out for multiple years on a project!” The problem with that seems to be I’m writing this going, “Oh no, how is this possibly going to live up to any kind of scrutiny.” Boom, added pressure, creates impossible task, leads to months of procrastination.
And here we are.
Once again, I’ve found the answer lies in saying, effectively, “Fuck it.” I say again because, asterisk moment, years ago I experienced crippling procrastination when it came to creative writing projects, and found the only way to overcome that was to channel my need for expression into what I named a ‘Fuck it Diary’. The rule with it is, there are no rules (I’m sure that’s a famous quote from somewhere); you just write whatever you want, however you want, in brightly coloured pen, drawing doodles, sticking in bits from your day, and brainstorming at random. What’s that, you say? That actually sounds like a mishmash between a junk journal and a bullet journal? We as humans can never possibly have an original thought?
Mayhaps, that could be the case, but sometimes it’s just a matter of reframing something so that it works for each of our quirky brains. For me, saying “Fuck it,” is about letting go of all the pressures I’ve put on something, it’s about moving on from a state of inertia to actually doing the thing, forgetting about the little perfectionist squawking from the dark corner of my own brain and reaching for just any standard, because any standard of a completed action is better than a lack of standard due to an incomplete action. Write that shitty first draft. Write shitty first blog posts. Because then at least, you’ve started the thing.
So, here’s my thing. I have a few aims with this, it’s really a way for me to keep in touch with my academic side and talk about things I find interesting. Oh, I’m an anthropologist, I forgot to mention! (shitty first draft, what can I say) Actually I’m not sure if I can call myself that as I currently work at Tesco, but I did spend five years studying the subject and have so far done two research projects. I’m hoping to talk about all that a whole lot more in upcoming posts, including explaining what social anthropology is, so I have a handy link I can send to questioning relatives.
My other thing is, I’m working on a novel, although I’m verrrrry early on in the writing-the-first-shitty-chapters, still-got-a-fuck-tonne-of-research-to-do, phase, so I might also talk about that.
Er, yeah, I think that’s everything. I was hoping for this blog to be a lot more formal, to be in more academic language, and maybe I’ll have a go at that further down the line, but for now, I’m enjoying this style of bishboshing out on the keyboard whatever I’d say to a close friend. Yeah, ‘bishbosh’. Did I mention I’m British?
Anyway, take care, reader. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day, and that this post possibly encouraged you to say “Fuck it” about something (If it did, pray tell). Until next time!
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theorangerangers · 1 year ago
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Karone for the Treat trick or treat Ranger writing? So I'm not alone in putting out new Karone stuff? *eyes fic I haven't updated in weeks that I will DEFINITELY get to, once I've actually stopped and discussed some things with my therapist*
Look I got a little carried away but this also isn’t proof read and was also written while I was watched Scooby-Doo with my roommates so it might be a bit weird at certain parts
“Yes, well everyone can dress up but just kids go trick or treating which is the candy collecting part. And it’s not really extortion; most families do something to make it clear whether or not they want kids to come and knock on their door, and kids for the most part respect it” Cassie explained.
“And those who don’t tend to throw eggs at the houses that don’t give candy,” Ashley said.
Karone cocked an eyebrow not quite sure how collecting candy under threat of vandalism was much better.
“So we can’t get candy?” Zhane pouted.
“Well we can probably get some at the party since most people have bowls just out during most of the Halloween parties I’ve been to if no one’s planning to be trick or treating,” Ashley said.
“Sweet,” Zhane joked.
Karone put on the jacket looking at the odd outfit Cassie had assembled for her. “And what monster exactly am I supposed to be?”
“Oh you’re not a monster, you, me, TJ, and Justin technically have matching costumes we’re superheroes from that show Justin likes we’re going to take some pictures with Justin and then you and me are going to the party and TJ is taking Justin trick or treating, until 10 and then drop him off at home and meet up with us for the after party”
“This outfit doesn’t seem practical for fighting crime,” Karone said, eyeing her heels and fishnets.
“Trust me, there’s a lot worse outfits and Black canary’s a pretty cool hero,” Ashley said, adjusting her petticoat before letting the rest of the layers for her bell dress fall into place.
“And why aren’t you in this outfit instead? You’re the one who actually was on a team with Justin?” Karone asked checking herself out in the outfit.
“I’m not blonde and black canary’s blonde,” Ashley explained.
“Zhane’s blonde,” Karone pointed out.
“Yeah but we’re matching as Bell and Adam from the beauty and the beast,” Ashley said, sticking another patch of fake fur to Zhane’s face. Ashley hesitated for a moment, “Besides we’re trying to get him to warm up to you since he didn’t see you a lot outside of the whole Princess Astronema thing,” not mentioning the moment Justin found out he called Tommy and Kat about 20 times each as the best judges he could come up with for actually being reformed and evil doer faking it.
“I scare him don’t I?” Karone asked.
“No…” Cassie said, looking at Ashley for backup.
“It does make him kind of nervous to have a former enemy living under the same roof as us. But he was a ranger. He's as brave as any of us, probably braver considering how young he was at the time.” Ashley continued.
“It’s a show of good faith, you’re willing to look a bit silly and have some pictures taken with him dressed as a member of the Arrow Fam without overstepping anything like having you go with him trick or treating,” Cassie said.
“Does he know I’m only going to be taking pictures or does he think I’m coming with him and TJ?” Karone asked.
“I think so, why?” Ashley asked.
“He seemed oddly excited this morning just to be taking some pictures together,”
“Well Halloween only comes once a year,” Cassie says.
“Hm…” Karone hummed.
Cassie pulled on her mask to see her Thea Queen costume had come together quite well. “Come on the sooner we take the pictures the sooner we can head out,”
A green blur slammed into Cassie, Karone was prepared to draw a weapon before she realized it was Justin who was hugging Cassie.
“Hey Justin, long time no see,” Cassie said, hugging him back. She noted he was dressed head to toe in green with a fake bow on his back.
“Yeah! Are you and karone excited to come to Trick or treating me and TJ? We’re going to visit every single house in town!” Justin was practically shaking from excitement.
Cassie hesitated looking uncomfortably at Karone, not sure how to break the news “oh Justin…”
“I would be honored to help you in your goal, but I think Cassie had other plans after we took the photos,” karone said.
“Oh, alright,” Justin said, trying to hide his disappointment. “I thought that, never mind…”
TJ cut in “if you want to go with Cassie—“
“I’m going to stay with Justin, if you want to go with Justin I don’t mind,” Karone told TJ firmly.
“I did say I was going to take him,” everyone could hear the hesitation in his voice.
“TJ, if you don’t want to take me, it’s fine.” Justin said now looking at his feet. “All of you can go now if you want, I’m fine really, I’m old enough to trick or treat by myself,”
“Justin…” TJ started not sure how to defuse the situation. If he was totally honest he would have preferred to go to the party.
“You can go TJ!” Justin said, walking away from the table in the juice bar. He walked out the door and sat on a bench outside.
Justin felt a hand on his shoulder. “TJ of you don’t want to take me—“
“I’m not TJ,” Karone cut him off.
“Oh, sorry about that, you didn’t agree to come yourself Cassie just said she was bringing you with her and I thought that she was coming with me,” Justin half heartedly explained.
“No, but I do want to come, if you’ll have me,” she hesitates before sitting down next to him trying not to do anything that could be taken as a threat.
“I’m not scared of you by the way,” Justin says.
“Yeah seeing you in person I can see that,” Karone said, trying to hide her own relief at this.
“I heard you didn’t get to be a kid much while you were busy being evil or whatever they did to you while you were working for the dark specter, I thought you might like, this, Halloween, hanging out, dressing up kinda silly like comic book characters,” the boy shrugged.
Karone had a lot of practice not crying while in pain but almost none at holding in tears in the face of whatever emotion she couldn’t name bubbling up inside right now. She quickly blinked her eyes, doing her best to prevent any moisture in her eyes from making itself known. “That’s very sweet Justin. But what about yourself?”
“What about me?”
“What did you want?” Karone asked.
“I guess I just wanted to be with my teammates again, I don’t really fit in with kids my age or kids in general. They all seem so happy and carefree and then after everything I saw as a ranger, I guess, I’m just not…,”
“Not what?”
“I don’t really feel like I’m a kid anymore, I know physically I still am but it doesn’t feel like it,”
“I know that feeling,” Karone said, nodding. “I know what it feels like when one moment you were a kid and the next you’re not a kid anymore but you’re not really an adult or anything else anymore either,”
“I wanted you and me to have a happy Halloween Karone,” Justin said. “I’m really sorry for bringing the mood down like this,”
Karone wrapped an arm around him and pulled him into a side hug. “I don’t mind, besides I thought you wanted to see every house in town?”
“You don’t have to come come if you don’t want to,”
“Justin, you don’t deserve your teammates and other fellow rangers leaving you behind like this,”
“I know, but it’s happening anyway. You didn’t deserve the stuff they did to make you evil either,”
“I know but it happened anyway, so let’s go trick or treating, and take some pictures in our costumes, eat some candy, and have a happy Halloween?”
Justin returns her side hug. “Yeah let’s have a happy Halloween,”
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mangoisms · 1 year ago
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sneak peak on the nikolai fic 🫣
hiiiii yes i know i said i’d post something yesterday </3 i’m a liar </3 but here it is now!!!! just for you!!! just cause i really wanted to get a little further in, i’m only on chapter 1 rn (well as of now and with my extra writing from today and yesterday, i’m finished with it and will now be moving to chapter 2 hehe) so Not A Lot going on but!!! anything is better than nothing <3
here it is <3
(putting this here bc the readmore is acting silly)
A knock on the door surprises her and she feels a sliver of trepidation. Tamar wouldn’t knock, would she? Her hand twitches to the bag with the dagger her father gave her when she left, but she holds off. No need for something so showy… She rises from the floor and opens the door.  If Maria was actively trying to not think about leaving before, now, at the sight of Sturmhond, for a moment, it leaves her entirely. Mostly in exchange for confusion. She doesn’t know what to say to him and doesn’t have time to think of something safe but it doesn’t matter as his muddy green eyes meet her brown ones and he’s flashing a charming smile at her. “Maria! Glad to see you made it here. And you’re settling in, too,” he says, eyes straying into the room, where her belongings are laid out. “Tamar showed you down, I presume?” She nods, still not quite sure what to say—or at least, what to say that won’t make her seem severely lacking in socialization. She is quite socialized, thank you very much. Being a seamstress’s daughter ensured that, with the regular stream of noblemen and women they had and the careful attention required of conversing with them. But it’s been a long time since she’s done something like that. And truthfully, Sturmhond should just be like any other man she’s met, but it doesn’t feel that way and for the life of her she can’t figure out why.  Maybe it’s simply because of how closely their paths had crossed a few days ago and how unaware he is of that fact.  Yes, she thinks, watching him nod in approval at her words. It must be that.  “Good, good. We had little choice with putting you with her. There’s rarely any extra room left around here.” He pauses and a familiar gleam enters his eyes. “Well, there are my quarters… But Dasha said she’d do some very unkind things to me if I offered you them. I imagine it’s the same with you?” “I don’t mind this,” she says instead of answering that. “Thank you.” He takes it in stride, which is a relief. “These used to be the doctor’s quarters, you know? It makes sense for Tamar to be here but between you and me, Tolya was always better at healing out of the two of them. I suppose you’ll be far better than the both of them combined.” “Hopefully,” she hedges, not wanting to outright agree or disagree, not having the full picture of the twins yet to say such a thing. “I have to admit, though, I do lack the… official training.” He surveys her for a moment, then shrugs. “So do they. Most of the Grisha I employ do. Or they didn’t get to complete it. As long as you don’t maim or kill anyone, we won’t have any problems.” “I won’t,” she says firmly, because what is she if not a healer? Not Healer but a healer.  In a war-torn country like Ravka, there is much that needs healing. Already, she is leaving behind many more at the clinic that need it. But she has to, because if she stayed, if she got caught and taken back to Arkesk, then she wouldn’t be able to do it anyway. At least here and eventually in Novyi Zem, she can help.  That’s all she wants to do. That’s all she’s ever wanted to do.  He gives her another evaluating look, one she doesn’t quite know how to interpret, but it doesn’t feel malicious or leery, so she lets it go.
(be gentle this is very much the first draft and also not proofed too closely <3 also still trying to get a good grasp on nikolai’s character it’s surprisingly difficult </3 so this might change when i actually post, which won’t be until i’ve finished writing the entire thing <3)
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frenskcup · 1 year ago
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Itadori's Kitchen
Summary: think of Julien Solomita's cooking vids, specifically the one where he bakes a cake w Jenna. This plus Yuuji and Fushiguro :) no romance, just reader interacting with them in a highly specific scenario.
Warnings: silly goofy times, cursing
A/N: uploaded this on AO3, but thought tumblr users might enjoy it
The red light of the camera blinks to signal the start of the recording.
“Am I in focus?”
You step towards the camera to look at the viewfinder. Itadori’s scrunched-up face shows up on the screen with the background blurred. Giving him a thumbs up, he smiles and claps his hands.
“Awesome! Thanks for agreeing to this. No one else wanted to help out.” His little frown adds to his pity party.
“Don’t sweat it. Didn’t have much else to do today. Kugisaki dipped on our movie plans to drag Maki with her to the shopping center,” you say, rolling your eyes at the memory of her reasoning being the spring sales starting and not wanting to look through the ugly garments after the first day. Itadori rummages through the drawers of the kitchenette to find whatever utensil he needs.
“Well, no need to fret! I, Itadori Yuuji, shall be your entertainment!” he declares with spatula and wooden spoon held towards the ceiling. You chuckle at his excitement as he winks at you.
“Okay, okay. So what’s on the agenda, head chef?” you ask while grabbing your phone for the list Itadori had sent you a few hours before when you agreed to help him film for his YouTube channel.
“Well, I usually have Fushiguro help me stay on track with the ideas I have lined up on that list. I try to put them in an order that makes sense.”
The said list is composed of the standard ‘film intro,’ ‘make cake,’ and ‘get friends to try’ formula most of Itadori’s videos followed. The occasional ‘fart noise’ or ‘insert meme here’ was scattered in the list. It seemed easy enough to follow.
“This is doable. So I’m just your help? Or can I talk with you?”
Looking up from your phone, you see him struggling with putting the apron over his head. You wait it out and watch him try to stick his arm through the head loop. Visible confusion washes over his face when he realizes this. He sees a flash towards him and looks at you, a grin on your face and phone in hand.
“It feels like Fushiguro never left,” Itadori sighs, trying to fix his apron.
“Oh, I’m Fushiguro now? I guess I have to act all emotionally unavailable and pretend I’m uninterested in everything, huh?” you joke.
“Ah, don’t forget making me think I’m doing something wrong by giving me very vague responses,” he says matter of factly. “You act like you don’t even watch my channel!” Itadori says like you’ve told him his chicken meatballs are awful and also spit on them. His hand clutches his chest in pretend pain.
“Excuse you, I am Chef Itadori’s number one fan!” you retort at him, pointer finger showing up in the viewfinder.
“Says who?”
“Says my damn username!”
Itadori gasps, his hands coming together and sparkles appearing in his eyes.
“Show me! Show me! Show me!”
“Okay okay! Jeez, give me a second to pull it up,” you tell him. It’s almost like trying to get an overly excited puppy to sit and stay.
“Wait! You gotta show the camera, too! As proof,” he orders, threatening you with his wooden spoon.
“Here, look. My profile name is exactly what I said.”
Itadori leans over the counter to get a better look. His eyes squint to try to see the small text. The smile on his face after seeing your username rivals the sun and the ring light set up next to him. He does a little dance and makes you show the camera the screen.
“It’s actually “Chef Itadori’s Number One Fan,” guys! Pog!” he shouts.
“I’m glad I’ve entertained you so much. Now, entertain me with your baking, Chef,” you command. “I’m gonna sit my buns in this chair and watch. I feel like I’m in Jun’s Kitchen. Let me sniff that flour, nya.”
“Okay, dry and wet go together to form the superior cake batter. A cake batter to dominate the baking industry. I am the cake boss, now,” he says to himself whilst mixing the ingredients in a bowl.
“Oh yes. Bakeries around Tokyo are trembling now that they feel the power of your batter. You’re too powerful.”
“Thank you for noticing my magnificent batter and my baking prowess. They’re both quite impressive, yes?” he asks, accidentally flinging batter on the floor when gesturing to you. “Oh.”
“Which one of us is cleaning that up before Demon gets to it?” you ask, fully knowing that it’s you who’s going to do so. Damn Fushiguro and his very adorable, yet abnormally large canine.
“Well, you’re the sous chef here. How can I, the executive chef, be responsible for such a menial mess when I’m in charge of this powerful batter, the one to dominate and destroy all cake batters.” Itadori seems to be in his own world as he finishes his statement.
“I knew it,” you deadpan, standing up to get a paper towel. Itadori dons a playful smirk, satisfied at the outcome of his actions.
The layers of cake are carefully set into the small oven. Curse Japan’s lack of full size ovens. Itadori and you laze around on the couch, waiting for the timer to ring.
“So what do we do now?” you ask, sitting with your legs on the back of the couch.
“I guess just wait. We never film the little break that’s in between the prep and the decorating.” He looks towards the ceiling with pursed lips. “Do you wanna go annoy Fushiguro to let us play with Demon?” He knows the answer before he asks. Your struggle of an attempt to swing your legs around the couch confirms it.
“Where’s the damn dog?”
“Okay, now let’s decorate!” Itadori yells while throwing his arms up.
You move the camera towards the different sprinkles and icing splayed on the counter. Somehow, Itadori convinced Fushiguro to join in the fun, on camera. How would the viewers react to the appearance of the illusive cameraman?
“Yo, you want the day off after this? I’m willing to edit,” you offer, panning the camera to the two of them shuffling about, trying to kick the other’s foot. Itadori’s head shoots up and he grins.
“Bet! I need a break after doing all the work today.”
A slap to the head knocks the smile off his face.
“And what am I?” Fushiguro asks flatly. His face holds no emotion.
“You’re the eye candy. Duh,” Itadori states like it’s the obvious, wrist flicking an offset spatula with sass to match.
“What do you think this is? A magic show?”
“Well-” another slap.
You hold back your laughs at their interactions and struggle to hold the camera still. If Kugisaki was here, it’d be even more chaotic. Itadori’s little frown tells all as he starts to ice the cake with a crumb coat of blue icing.
“I guess someone isn’t getting a piece of cake later. And it’s not my fault in the slightest,” Itadori says with lips pursed. His concentration on not ripping any cake out has his eyes squinting as if it’d help his hands.
“Like I’d want to eat it, you big baby.” Rolling his eyes at his friend’s childish antics, Fushiguro grabs an offset spatula to help smooth out the icing.
“God, I hate it when dad and dad fight,” you groan behind the camera. They both look at you, one with disappointment and the other, distress.
“Look what you’re doing! Tearing this family apart? How could you?” laments Itadori. With puppy dog eyes, he stares at Fushiguro and pouts.
“Look what you’re doing. Tearing this damn cake apart,” Fushiguro deadpans, pointing out the obvious hole that has been left by Itadori’s distracted hand.
“Ah! My cake!” You share a look with the spikey-haired man, both of you shaking your heads while Itadori tries to salvage what’s left of the spongey cake to patch the hole.
“Hey, if this cake goes sideways, we can always turn them into cakepops or whatever-balls with icing.” You slowly pan the camera to the hole to show how Itadori is trying his hardest to make it look like nothing happened.
“But that’s not what this video is for! I made a cake. How could I betray those who depend on this cake for their mental wellbeing?” He slams his hands on the countertop while exclaiming.
Barking comes from the living room, Demon clearly upset at being woken up by the chaotic pink guy on the verge of fake tears. Fushiguro looks at his roomie before starting to count.
“Oh no…” Itadori’s eyes go wide. He carefully sets the tool down and books it for the window, narrowly avoiding Fushiguro’s grasp.
“No! Not there! I just-” you yell to the flash of pink, running towards him in false hopes of stopping him.
A crash of clay sounds out from the fire escape.
“Put my plants outside.”
Your defeated face looks toward the camera, exhaling deeply with hands on hips. Demon runs to the window before slipping on the hardwood because of lack of traction. Both you and Fushiguro wince as the dog smashes into the wall before scrambling to chase Itadori once more.
“Cut the camera! Deadass!” shouts the man in the window.
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jamiewintons · 3 years ago
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The Perfect Gift (Thomas Thorne/F!Reader)
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Summary: It’s Christmas Day, and you’re excited to give Thomas his gift. You soon find out that the two of you think very much alike.
Tags/Warnings: Fluff. Established Relationship. Ghost!Reader. Christmas. Pet names. Thomas being sappy af. Implied spoilers for the 2021 Christmas special. Alison ships it.
A/N: I was so inspired by the Christmas special that I sat down and wrote this whole thing in one sitting. It's not that long, and I'm a bit tired so there might be some mistakes, but I hope it's still enjoyable!! As always, reblogs are appreciated.
Word Count: 810
(Gif by me)
** “Do you think he’s going to like it?” Alison asked, looking down at the gift she held in her hands, wrapped neatly in beautiful green and red paper.
“I’m sure he will. You did an amazing job, Alison,” you replied with a smile. Of course you wished that you could have made a present for Thomas yourself, but you knew that it was impossible. But together you and Alison had created something wonderful — well, it had actually been just Alison, all you’d had to do was sit there and look pretty. “I really appreciate all the work you put in for me.”
“Thanks, Y/N. We'd better go and see him, I know he's excited to give you your gift.” The two of you walked together towards the library, where you knew that Thomas was waiting.
“Merry Christmas, dearest,” Thomas said for what had to be the thousandth time that day, rushing over to kiss you on the cheek as soon as you’d entered the room.
“You too, Thomas.” You giggled a little, taking his hand in yours. Together you walked over to where Alison had placed your gift, along with Thomas’.
“Alright, who wants to open first?” Alison asked, indicating towards the two similarly shaped and sized presents.
“Ladies first,” Thomas insisted, and you looked closer at the gift, reading the tag that had been stuck onto the wrapping paper.
To my dearest Y/N,
Love from Thomas (with a small love heart at the end that Thomas convinced Alison to add)
It wasn’t as poetic as you were used to, but it was a very small tag. Thomas watched you with joyful eyes as Alison began unwrapping the gift, the paper falling away to reveal a portrait of Thomas himself. He looked incredibly handsome, even if he was posing in a rather silly way.
“Oh my God,” you said with a gasp, looking back and forth between Thomas and the portrait. Thomas grinned at you.
“A rather stunning likeness, do you not think? Alison is very talented.”
When you wrapped your arms around him and hugged him tightly, Thomas still seemed somewhat surprised, regardless of how many times you had done the same thing.
“Yes, she definitely is. But this is so weird...” You looked up into Thomas’ eyes, and saw his confusion at your words.
“What is weird?” he asked, seeming a little worried.
“Well, you’ll find out once you see your present.” You untangled yourself from Thomas, turning back around to watch Alison tearing the paper off the second present. This time you watched Thomas’ face intently, wanting to see his reaction as soon as he realised what you had given him.
Thomas’ eyes went wide and his jaw dropped as the gift was revealed. It was a portrait of you, but not as you appeared now. Rather you wore a lovely pale blue regency era dress, your hair done up in a more period appropriate hairstyle.
Despite the changes Alison had made to your clothes and hair, it was very obviously you. Thomas stared at the artwork for a good few minutes, in stunned silence.
“So, what do you think?” You asked, placing a gentle hand on Thomas’ arm to try and bring him back to reality.
“It’s gorgeous! Utterly gorgeous!” he exclaimed, taking his attention away from the portrait to kiss you briefly. “And we both thought to gift a portrait of ourselves to each other? We think so alike, surely this is proof that we are soulmates.”
You couldn’t stop yourself from giggling again, Thomas was just far too adorable for words. The two of you looked to the portraits sitting next to each other.
“How did you find the time to paint two portraits like this while keeping them a secret?” you asked Alison in awe.
Alison shrugged. “You know, I’m not really sure myself.”
“Thank you so much, Alison. They’re amazing,” you told her sincerely, truly amazed by what she had done for the two of you.
“I think they would look lovely hanging in our bedroom, so we could view them whenever we wish. Would that be alright, Alison?” Thomas asked.
“Sure, but you’ll have to give me a few days.”
“Wonderful.” Thomas turned to you, his eyes still shining with joy. “Shall we go and see the others?”
You nodded. You knew that Thomas would be ecstatic to tell everyone that you were so perfectly matched that you gave each other matching gifts.
“You go ahead, my angel, I shall catch up with you. I must ask Alison something.” As soon as you were out of earshot, Thomas turned to Alison. “I was just thinking, Valentine’s Day is only a couple of months away, but perhaps you could paint a portrait of Y/N and I together…”
Alison sighed. Perhaps she had made a mistake doing something so thoughtful.
167 notes · View notes
needcake · 3 years ago
Note
I would love to see you write engport being silly sappy idiots, all light hearted good times and being utterly stupid together
I am so sorry for taking so long to answer this! But to be quite honest this might have been the hardest prompt, I think I opened 20 new wips trying to write this one XD
--
Engport | PG | 2,2k
.
.
Arthur wasn’t a bad cook.
The word Gabriel had come to associate with him in the kitchen when the mood to cook hit him and made him tie his apron behind his back and push up his sleeves wasn’t bad.
Perhaps overconfident, when he would throw him an insufferable smirk and shoo him from his kitchen, or adventurous, when he watched one too many cooking shows and insisted he must try some of those recipes even though most of them were well above his skill level, or even bold, when he decided, from the top of his head, to not follow any recipe and create his own.
But without a doubt the word Gabriel had come to associate with Arthur the most whenever he announced he would be one cooking was: careless. And since it always seemed to fall on him the duty to taste-proof his creations, Gabriel had eaten one too many expired ingredients and overly-salted meats, burnt cookies and undercooked pies, having to spend the rest of the night between the bed and the toilet shitting his insides, to want to willingly put himself through that again.
So in the morning when Arthur picked him up at the airport and announced, unusually chipper: “I’m cooking tonight, saw this great recipe on the telly last night, you’re going to love it, we just need to pick up a few things at the shop first.” Gabriel knew he only had a few hours to come up with an excuse to save himself, his stomach and his butthole from a night of flaming pain and regret.
-
“Blue cheese goes well with raisins, right?” Arthur asked, turning the package of cheese in his hand in the supermarket aisle, giving it great thought. He gripped the trolley’s handles a little harder, frowning at both.
“Does the recipe call for blue cheese and raisins?”
The blue cheese went into the trolley and Arthur shrugged, pulling him along as he moved further into the dairy section. “Recipes are sort of like suggestions, Port. No one actually follows recipes. I haven’t seen you follow a single recipe in ages.”
Gabriel opened his mouth. Thought better of it. Closed it again.
“Besides,” Arthur continued, grabbing a package of pre-made puff pastry, considering it, then putting it in the trolley with the blue cheese, the pickles, the raisins, the asparagus and the ham. “You have to always leave a little room for creativity and improvement, right?”
Gabriel sighed, hanging his head down. “Right.”
-
“Why don’t we take a left turn here and drive down to Devon. We could stop at a small town, hit a pub, make a night out of it,” he suggested, voice low and husky, hoarse from all the years spent smoking one cigarette after another, his hand drifting down between Arthur’s thighs while they were stuck in traffic.
Arthur’s eyebrows first shot up to his hairline, then a slight crimson blush flushed his skin. “Ahm,” Arthur stammered, eyes locked too long on his probing hand that he had to shake himself and focus back on the road before a terrible car crash made the motorway even more jammed than it was. “We can go there tomorrow. If that’s what you want to do.”
Gabriel squeezed the muscle of his inner thigh and Arthur sat up a little straighter, the crimson blush reaching his ears. “Why not today?” he insisted, “We have plenty of time.”
Arthur scoffed lightly, throwing him quick disbelieving glance. “It’s a long drive, Port. You’re only here ‘till Sunday afternoon, and I…” he said, doing a little fidgety shrug coupled with a roll of his eyes. “I was, you know, planning to cook. For you.”
A shot straight through his heart. Gabriel’s will faltered.
“If you want, that is,” Arthur added, looking his way. “Or we could just order something if you think my cooking’s too terrible.”
Gabriel tensed. Was this a way out or a test?
He smiled, ignoring the blaring klaxons going off in his head, and patted his thigh. “Not at all. I want to see what you came up with this time.”
Arthur smiled as well. “Good,” he sentenced looking back ahead. “Because I’m planning a full course meal. None of us is leaving the table until we’re stuffed full!”
He pressed his lips tightly and nodded.
His sphincter would just have to take one for the team.
-
By the time they reached Arthur’s London flat with his one suitcase and several shopping bags, it was well into the afternoon.
“Ah, shit,” Arthur mumbled to himself, checking his wristwatch for the nth time and dropping the bags on the counter “I’m going to have to skip the hors d'oeuvre and jump straight to the salad. If we hadn’t spent so much time in traffic—”
“It’s fine,” Gabriel tried once, but Arthur either didn’t hear or straight up ignored him, continuing his very long list of complaints while pacing around his kitchen pulling things from the cabinets and the fridge.
“It’s gotten worse, I’m telling you. I used to make the entire trip in 45 minutes. The other day I sent a very long and detailed letter to the Mayor of London about the congestion problems in the motorway, and you know what the man said?”
Gabriel opened his mouth to reply, but Arthur bulldozed over him, “I’ll tell him what he said! He said that there aren’t enough funds to fix it! Not enough funds! So I wrote him another – even longer! – letter, and you know what he said to that one?”
Gabriel gave up, rolled his eyes and placed his hands on his hips. “What?” he asked tiredly, watching Arthur pull out the most bizarre combination of ingredients from the shopping bags.
“He said he would look into it!”
“Isn’t that usually a good thing?” he asked, his frown deepening as Arthur pulled out a can of preserved cherries from the fridge along with chives, garlic, four cans of sardines, white wine vinegar, quail eggs and cocoa nibs.
“No of course it isn’t! That means he will absolutely not look into—what are you looking at?”
Gabriel turned to look at him as Arthur suddenly stopped talking, deer in the headlights. “Nothing.”
A frown fell heavy between Arthur’s eyebrows and his hands went straight to his hips. “Out with it.”
“What are those for?” he asked, pointing his chin at the cocoa nibs.
Arthur looked at the pack in his hands. Then put it away behind his back. “Nothing. It’s a surprise.”
“A surprise… what?” he asked, pulling Arthur by the waist, trying to reach behind him but Arthur just squirmed the pack away from him, the two of them doing a ridiculous dance in the middle of the kitchen. “Arthur, what the—just tell me—”
“If I tell you,” Arthur countered, trying to weasel away and stepping back until his butt hit the counter, “you won’t want to eat it,” he gasped, letting out short bursts of laughter whenever Gabriel tickled his sides.
“If you don’t tell me,” Gabriel laughed as well, pressing up against him, latching his mouth to Arthur’s neck and sneaking his hands up his jumper, any attempt to take the package from him forgotten in favor of a more straightforward strategy. “I really won’t want to eat it.”
The pack of cocoa nibs went flying over his head, and just as Gabriel made a move to follow it, Arthur’s hands grabbed handfuls of his ass and kept him in place, mouth opening under his when he turned to kiss him.
Someone hummed, might have been him, and he angled his nose to kiss Arthur deeper, nudging him back until he hopped back up over the counter, his legs wrapping around his waist.
“On second thought,” Gabriel said, whispered, mumbled, his fingers finding the button of his pants and popping it open, dragging the zipper slowly down the bulge between his legs. “Ordering sounds good now,” he innocently suggested. If his ass had be an active participant, he would much rather it be with the fingers that were currently probing his behind than dying heroically into the night. “Or better yet, why don’t we forget about this whole thing and go straight to the bedroom? Isn’t that what you promised me?”
“To be fair,” Arthur laughed, diving out of his kisses and pulling his hands regrettably away from his ass to push him off, “I am about to blow you away,” he said with a smirk, hopping down the counter. “Don’t think I don’t know what you’re trying to do,” he said, half jokingly and half accusatorily, straightening his clothes.
“Oh, yeah?” Gabriel went along, swiping his hair away from his eyes and leaning back against the counter where Arthur had left him disheveled and half-hard. “What am I doing?”
But Arthur just rolled his eyes at him with a smile and zipped up his pants, going to retrieve his pack of cocoa nibs from the other side of the kitchen with a shake of his head.
“I bought the conditioner you like. Why don’t you go take a shower and unpack? Dinner will be ready by the time you finish.”
Gabriel sighed again. He looked around the kitchen one last time, watching as Arthur opened the fridge, pulled out a package of ground beef that he sat beside the canned cherries and the retrieved cocoa nibs.
He turned away in resignation, glad that he at least remembered to pack a pair of sweatpants and extra underwear.
-
The smell that hit him once he stepped out of the bathroom was… good, actually.
Savory, garlic-y, but also sweet? He couldn’t describe it even if he tried.
In the small living room, Arthur had set up a table and two chairs, an album spinning lazily in the record player and the overhead lights dimmed to compose the atmosphere.
It almost made Gabriel feel bad. Here he was, dreading the worst, when in fact Arthur had gone out of his way to make him feel special.
He thanked him when Arthur pulled out a chair for him, graciously accepted the cloth napkin he placed on his thigh, sipped the wine he poured into his glass.
“You have to be honest with me, okay?” Arthur asked before disappearing into the kitchen to retrieve the first course. “You don’t have to eat it if you hate it.”
This, Gabriel knew, was definitely a test. One he had failed in the past and had rendered him a whole five months without sex. He smiled at him and Arthur smiled back.
In front of him he placed something Gabriel could only guess was a mix of nuts, dried fruits, blue cheese and – ah! – the cocoa nibs.
At the final battle, he gave his last defeated sigh. Armed with a fork, he dug in.
-
“Wow, you really liked it!” Arthur said, a note of astonishment in his voice, watching Gabriel clean the hollandaise from his plate with a piece of asparagus and lick his fork.
“This might be the best sauce I’ve ever had in my life,” he nodded enthusiastically, scrapping the bottom of his plate for the last few smears, stealing the last scrap of sauce from Arthur’s plate as well. “I don’t know how, but this time you really nailed it.”
When he looked up across the table, Arthur’s eyes were shinning in the low light, a small proud smile threatening to burst forth from his lips. He felt like a shitty boyfriend, doubting Arthur's skills, trying to divert him from his passions. He would make it up to him. The night was still young, they had plenty of time.
“I’m so glad you said that,” Arthur said, and Gabriel reached for his hand across the table. “I had read online that you’re not supposed store eggs in the freezer, but these came out perfectly. If I had listened, I’d have wasted a whole carton.”
Gabriel was in the middle of caressing his knuckles when he stopped, lifted his head slowly up.
“The eggs you used weren’t fresh?”
“Ahm,” Arthur stammered.
“Were there cracks in the shells?”
“Ahm.” Arthur had the decency to at least look distressed.
-
“Honestly, I think this might be a you problem, Port,” Arthur’s voice came muffled through the door while Gabriel’s soul abandoned his body via toilet. “I ate the same food as you and I feel perfectly fine!”
Gabriel moaned pitifully in pain. If he didn’t love him, he would kill him.
“Port, are you alright in there? Do you need me to run to the pharmacy? Do we need to go to the hospital? Do I need to get the secret service involved?”
He emerged from the bathroom, a rag in tatters rather than a man, and found Arthur posted worriedly at the door, ready to catch him when he fell into his arms and all thoughts of homicide left him along with his dignity.
“Just promise me you’ll cook me mince pie next time,” he pleaded, distantly feeling an arm around his waist guiding him to the bedroom, “Or a nice, simple pudding with some gravy.”
He felt a cool wet cloth cleaning his face, a blessed pillow under his head and sheets being pulled over his chest. Arthur chuckled somewhere above him, shushing him quiet before exhaustion pulled him under.
“Don’t be daft, Port, where would be the fun in that?”
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yellowocaballero · 4 years ago
Text
Jon's Trapped in Temporal Time-Out: A TMA Time Travelling Tale
Sasha was tipping some whiskey from her secret flask into her tea when Tim poked his head into the breakroom and announced that he had found a corpse.
Sasha and Martin, hunched over their paltry lunches and pathetic lives situated upon a rickety metal breakroom table and equally rickety metal chairs, stared at him. 
“Like,” Sasha said finally, “a human one?”
Tim shrugged. “Humanoid? I didn’t want to poke it and see if it was fleshy, so I guess the jury’s out.”
Hm. Sasha put her flask away. The day was no longer boring, so it was unnecessary. 
The most relevant questions ought to be asked first. “Should we tell Jon?”
“He might throw a bitch fit about how corpses are unhygienic, so no?”
Martin drained his tea and stood up from the rickety metal chair, resigned. “I’ll get the broom.”
I kept on bitching about how much I dislike the beginning scenes of TMA time travelling AUs so my friend @lazuliquetzal​ (who wrote the best TMA time travelling fic in the fandom) told me to put my money where my mouth is. It’s nowhere near her level, but in my defense it’s probably even stupider than Reflection. 10K of stupid under the cut. 
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Sasha was tipping some whiskey from her secret flask into her tea when Tim poked his head into the breakroom and announced that he had found a corpse.
Sasha and Martin, hunched over their paltry lunches and pathetic lives situated upon a rickety metal breakroom table and equally rickety metal chairs, stared at him. 
“Like,” Sasha said finally, “a human one?”
Tim shrugged. “Humanoid? I didn’t want to poke it and see if it was fleshy, so I guess the jury’s out.”
Hm. Sasha put her flask away. The day was no longer boring, so it was unnecessary. 
The most relevant questions ought to be asked first. “Should we tell Jon?”
“He might throw a bitch fit about how corpses are unhygienic, so no?”
Martin drained his tea and stood up from the rickety metal chair, resigned. “I’ll get the broom.”
****
There was, indeed, a corpse in the Archives.
More specifically, in the stacks. The worst place to die, or least be dumped. Sasha had to admit the logic of it: it was the darkest depths of the library that Martin had informed her was ‘somewhat creepy’ and ‘kind of ominous’ so ‘please stop sleeping there you’re going to give me a heart attack’. After Martin flipped on a few lights that were never flipped on (apparently Elias was a cheapskate, which explained the breakroom) they could all gawk at the corpse to their heart’s content. 
Very kindly and thoughtfully, Tim asked Martin if he wanted to stay out of the library and maybe to ‘tell someone’ or something. Both Sasha and Tim had mutually and silently agreed that Martin seemed the type to have a delicate constitution. Granted, he hadn’t seemed the type to win Magnus Anarchist every month by breaking into abandoned buildings with absolutely no shame, so maybe he was the kind that surprised you. 
But Martin had just looked a little unimpressed. “Do you seriously think this is my first corpse? I went to university.”
That somewhat intimidated Sasha, who abruptly worried that she had missed out on an essential university experience again. “Is that a typical university experience?”
Martin paused a beat. 
“Uh,” he said, “yeah, sure, of course. Hazing, you know.”
“Is that what hazing…?”
“Fraternities.”
Tim, from where he had been standing at the entrance to the stacks snapping on the sterile gloves he had liberated from the cleaning supply closet, looked delighted. “You were in a frat too, Martin? What kind of hardcore frat had corpse hazings? Was it the Sigma Gammas? My frat always thought they were way too crazy, but we were a business one -”
“You know what,” Martin said, “let’s just worry about the corpse.”
After Sasha tied her hair in a ponytail and Martin snapped on his own gloves, they awkwardly approached the aisle where Tim had been trying to find a reference book for Jon. Sasha was worried that they would have to hunt for it a little, or that there would be a bad jump scare, but when they found it she saw that it wasn’t subtle at all.
It was sprawled on the ground, face mashed into the cheap and somewhat gross carpet. Sasha approached it with absolutely no hesitation, which Tim and Martin gladly let her do, and squatted down to get a better look at the figure. 
She definitely needed to make a coroner’s report. She was the objective expert in coroner’s reports. 
 “Tim, can you run back and get one of Jon’s silly little tape recorders for my coroner’s report?”
“Did you just see that on the telly?” Tim asked skeptically. “Because if you did -”
“Oh, here one is. That’s really convenient!” Martin grabbed one off the shelf and pressed play, letting the tape roll. “Good idea, Sasha. We need proof to Jon that we were researching.”
Probably...not what Jon meant for them to be researching, but Sasha liked to believe that it was the intent that mattered. She pulled a pencil out of her pencil skirt pocket, poking the figure thoughtfully. “Report by Sasha James, Archival Assistant.” There, now it was work. “At 1:30pm today, Tim Stoker discovered a corpse in the Archives, thereby referred to as John Doe -”
“Do we have to call it John Doe?” Tim complained, standing next ot her and crossing his arms. “Then we have too many Johns, it’ll get confusing.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Sasha said dismissively. “Ours is Jon, this guy’s John. Completely different.”
“Sasha, I’m not sure that’s how words work.”
“What are you, an English major?”
“Yes! I was an editor for a living!”
“Sorry if I don’t listen to guys who were fired from book editing school -”
“Uh,” Martin said, “have we checked to see if he’s actually dead?”
Sasha and Tim fell silent. Sasha looked at Tim. Tim shook his head. 
“Seriously, mate?” Sasha asked, unimpressed. 
“I didn’t want to touch the corpse!” Tim cried. “So sue me! It’s not as if he’s moving!”
Pussy. Sasha gently reached out and pushed aside a little of the corpse’s very long and pretty curly hair. What was that, 3C? Jesus, that had to be work. Sasha was 3A and the amount of hair care products she owned was insane.
She waved her hand at the boys for silence and put her thumb against his pulse, concentrating hard. Martin quietly walked over and crouched down too, eyeing his chest. 
“I don’t feel a pulse,” Sasha said finally. 
“Also, uh, I’m not a doctor,” Martin said, “but he’s definitely not breathing.”
“I told you,” Tim said defensively. “You just look at the thing, and you go - yep, that’s a corpse!”
“Corpse appears to be an ethnically ambiguous adult man with very nice hair,” Sasha said loudly. Martin helpfully held out the recorder to catch her voice better. “Maybe 190cm. Incredibly skinny - potential cause of death. He’s dressed in...some very ratty clothing. Potentially homeless.”
“It definitely smells,” Tim said, pinching his nose. Sasha didn’t blame him - the clothing was an overlarge green hoodie, ratty and threadbare, and his jeans weren’t any better. His boots were worn and soft leather. “Maybe he’s a homeless guy who snuck in and died?”
“That’s so sad,” Martin said softly. “Also a little gross.”
“Have some respect for the dead, guys,” Sasha said, as she poked the dead guy with a pencil. “Tim, go flip him over.”
Tim held his hands up, stepping away. “I couldn’t possibly. Martin loves flipping people over.”
“This again?” Martin asked, frustrated. “This is just like when you made me handle the Rawlings case because you’re scared of the suburbs!”
“They have too many eyes, Martin!”
“I am surrounded by cowards,” Sasha noted for the recorder. Nothing for it, then. Sasha carefully straightened, wobbling on her heels, before solidly wiggling her hands underneath the corpse’s chest. He was cold - dead a while. 
It was surprisingly difficult to flip over a limp adult man. Sasha was strong, but the corpse’s flesh was weak, and he was all floppy. Eventually Tim got over himself long enough to help her, making a very disgusted face the entire time, and they were able to finally get a good look at the man’s face.
Abruptly, upon seeing it, they all quieted. 
There was something about seeing a man splayed out on the ground that was a little funny, if you worked for the Magnus Institute and had probably encountered a Leitener two years ago and lost all empathy. No more impediments in the search for science. But there was something very different about looking at a person, who had a nose and lips and a very ratty hoodie, and knowing that it was no longer a person. Just a lot of cloth and meat and blood and organs and nice hair that once was a person, back when things were easier and the world was a little less harsh.
But maybe Sasha was caught by sentimentality: after all, the corpse looked a little like Jon.
Judging from the stunned faces of her compatriots as they all bent around the figure, they all thought the same thing. Tim’s jaw was open, and Martin’s hand was covering his mouth in shock. 
“Man,” Tim said. “This sucks. And it’s really creepy.”
“He must have been really gorgeous,” Martin said. “That’s so sad.” 
Actually, Sasha tilted her head and took another look. He had sharp and severe features, elegant and striking. A large and thin, sharp nose, and equally sharp lips. His face was just as sharp and gaunt, as emancipated as the rest of him. He had strange scars trailing up his neck and curving around his jaw, but it just kind of accentuated the intense atmosphere. 
It was probably a pretty stupid thing to focus on, but in her defense it wasn’t really the face of a homeless guy. Well, maybe. Hot homeless people existed.
Sasha frowned. She’s only met one other person this hot. 
“Hey,” she said, “doesn’t he look like Jon?”
Both the men titled their heads. 
Finally, Tim said, “Nah, he’s hotter.”
“Agreed,” Sasha said. “I think the scars really do it.” 
“Uh, guys,” Martin said. 
Sasha grabbed her tape recorder out of Martin’s hands, resuming her coroner’s report. “Subject appears to be in his thirties. Weirdly attractive, but that’s probably not as important as we feel it is.” She looked down at his hands, carefully using her pencil to push up the sleeve. “What looks like an aged and badly healed burn scar on his right hand. Supports homeless guy evidence.”
“Knife scar over his throat,” Tim quietly observed. “Someone tried to kill this guy.”
“Guys,” Martin said. 
“Well, I guess this is the point where we worry about body disposal,” Sasha said, straightening. “I think Elias could handle this discreetly and professionally, but that might involve letting Jon know. And I don’t think any of us want that kind of stress in our lives.”
“So, are we not even pretending to want to call the cops, or…?”
“Listen to me!”
Both Tim and Sasha shut up, somewhat guiltily. Martin had straightened too, fists balled, looking firm and determined and resolute - everything that Martin wasn’t, really. Martin lived unsure of himself, never expressing his own feelings or ending every opinion with an “I don’t know, maybe, that’s just my thoughts, what do you think?”. 
So Tim and Sasha paid attention, and when Sasha nodded encouragingly at him he seemed to find further courage. Solemnly, with the air of a wise man by the side of the road, Martin said, “This guy isn’t hotter than Jon.”
Christ. Sasha takes it all back.
 Tim propped a hand on his hip supportively as Sasha rolled her eyes. “Look, mate,” Tim said, “I know that you think Jon’s the hottest person in existence, and maybe objectively he’s fine as hell, but once you know him for longer than three months he loses all attractiveness. It would be like being into the DMV clerk. The really pretentious cousin at all of your family reunions who tries to explain your own job to you. The dude in your English class who thinks he invented feminism.”
“That was you,” Sasha said. 
“I am the objective expert in Jon,” Martin said firmly, shutting down the dissent. “He’s, like, my muse, okay? And can I say, as I have spent so many long hours memorizing the curve of his jaw - that’s the same jaw.”
If Sasha had a retort to that, or if Tim wanted to judge Martin for his taste in men further, neither of them had a chance. There wasn't an opportunity to say anything more, because the corpse opened its eyes. 
Sasha’s first thought was this: wow, what green eyes. 
Sasha’s second thought was: the fuck?
His eyes didn’t focus on her, or snap anywhere. They drifted a little lazily, fixed on the right, but the man was undoubtedly aware. His fingers twitched, he tilted his head from left to right, and his left hand - doubtlessly the hand that still felt texture - clenched the thin and cheap rug. The man’s jaw slackened a little, as if in surprise. 
For their part, the Assistants frantically looked at each other, all conveying the exact same thought - you said he was dead!
Sasha froze to her spot, petrified. She could handle corpses, or coroner’s reports, or mysteries. Sasha was intelligent, unkind, firm, socially incompetent, and a Libra. She could handle the dead, but the living? Sasha had no idea what to do with alive people.
But Tim did. He hesitated two moments, reeling back in shock, before he abruptly composed himself. He crouched down to the guy, and modulated his voice to sound calming and firm. “Hey, don’t strain yourself. Are you alright? Do you hurt anywhere?”
The man turned his head in Tim's direction, hiding his expression from Sasha, but she saw Tim’s eyes widen. Martin, standing closer to his feet, wrung his hands - clearly torn on what to do, uncertain how to help. Martin always hated being uncertain how to help the most. Which was pretty unfortunate, because Martin always wanted to help, and Martin was always uncertain. 
“Can you speak?” Tim asked gently. “If you can’t speak, go ahead and knock on the floor for me, okay?”
“If we pack him into your car, we can say that we found him on the street,” Sasha piped up. As much as she distrusted NHS, and as much as the NHS refused to touch anybody who had ever stepped foot inside the Institute, they could hardly refuse somebody if they just lied their ass off about it. “They’ll have to treat him then, right?”
“We could make it so much worse if we move him,” Martin said quickly, just as strangely firm. “We need to take our chances with 999.”
“We don’t even know if he’s injured,” Sasha pointed out, somewhat optimistically. “Maybe this whole thing can just, like, not be a problem.”
Yeah, Sasha definitely preferred corpses. 
The man was opening and closing his mouth, before he coughed wetly. Sasha clinically noted that it was the first time she had seen his chest move. As Tim reached forward, murmuring gently, and helped the man sit up, she saw that his chest didn’t move at all.
“Alright, let’s try to get you up.” Tim helped the man shift so he was leaning against the bookcase - uncomfortable, but a better position if he started coughing up blood. “We should fetch you some water - Martin, I don’t think he has any injury like that, he just seems out of it. His eyes aren’t focusing on me at all.”
Strangely, the man scoffed at that. The sound made him cough again, but the derision was unmistakable.
The derision was extremely familiar. 
When Sasha looked at Martin his eyes were wide behind his glasses, and she knew that he had heard the same thing that she did. 
Finally, with a raspy and hoarse voice, the man said, “Well, isn’t this fucking fun.”
Everybody stared at him. His voice...different, definitely, with a less posh accent and strained vocal cords scratching his tones. But when Sasha glanced at Tim, she just knew that he was remembering when Jon had insisted on coming into work with a terrible cold and Martin had to bully him home. He had sounded eerily like…
“Is this your idea of a joke?” the man said. 
Tim, from where he was crouched next to the guy, turned his attention back to him. “I’m a funny guy, but last time I checked head injuries aren’t a joke.” He tracked his finger across the man’s eyes, frowning when they didn’t follow. “You definitely have a concussion, mate. If you can walk, we need to -”
“Lord, alright, I get it.” The man raised his burned hand and clumsily rubbed his eyes. “You’re mad at me, I’m sleeping on the couch, whatever. Is all of this really necessary?”
“Uh,” Tim said intelligently. “Mate, I’m not your boyfriend.”
The man waved his other hand in Tim’s direction as he pressed his fingers into his eyes in exhaustion. “I’m hardly speaking to you.” Tim’s jaw dropped in shock as the man angled his face upwards, the crown of his head jamming uncomfortably against the metal shelving. “In my defense, I was doing the best I could with the resources you gave me. It’s water under the bridge. I’ve forgotten about it already! So let’s just get back to our eldritch hellscape.”
Everybody stared at each other. 
“We should move this into the break room,” Martin said. “There’s tea there.”
“Oh, don’t be rude,” Jon said, “making Martin into a caricature of himself. You like Martin, you told me so.”
“Counterpoint,” Sasha said weakly, “the bullpen has Jon. And I really don’t want to explain this to Jon.”
“I don’t even know who this one is,” the man said. “What? Not going to tell me?”
“Okay, like, fucking rude, but whatever.”
“I don’t know who you’re talking to,” Tim said firmly, reaching out and putting a firm hand on the man’s arm. The man didn’t recoil or jerk away, just looking down in vague surprise. “But they aren’t here right now. You’re in the basement of the Magnus Institute, alright? I’m Tim Stoker, at your service, and these are my coworkers. I think you have a brain injury. If you can walk, we need to get you -”
“I can’t eat here,” the man said, but he made no effort to remove Tim’s arm. He moved his other hand, pressing it against Tim’s own, as if they were friends. “Cutting me off from my Knowledge -” it was capitalized, Sasha could hear it “ - chaining me to my desk, for - what? You’re not even answering me? Come on!” The man’s voice raised, and for the first time Sasha could hear something ragged in it. “Don’t give me the silent treatment!”
“Jon.”
It was Martin, standing at a distance from the man - from all of them. He was wringing his hands again, shoulders hunched and tense, but his expression was caught in that same mysterious firmness. 
The man didn't react. Not in surprise, not in shock, not in unrecognition. He just scowled a little, ignoring all of them. 
“Jon,” Martin said, louder. “This isn’t solving anything. Don’t be stubborn.”
“I’m not the one being stubborn, Martin,” Jon - Jon?! - muttered, folding his arms. Like an infant. Like, hypothetically, something Jon would do. “I just don’t think omniscient fear gods should be petty.”
Everybody looked at each other. 
“This needs tea,” Martin proclaimed finally, and everybody nodded in silent agreement.
Every nodded in agreement - even, strangely enough, Jonathan Sims himself. 
****
This plan had a few complexities. 
The first complexity was dealing with Jon - their Boss - himself. In an act of cunning psychological warfare, Martin had gone ahead of them and used his endless and infinite subtle acts of manipulation to guarantee that Jon wouldn’t interrupt them. This situation was already Quite A Bit, nobody wanted to babysit their boss. 
Who Sasha frequently felt as if she babysat a bit. Having the youngest person in the office be the very rigid and authoritarian boss was objectively a little funny. But you know what’s not funny? Transphobia. 
Eventually Martin came back and waved them forward, and Tim gently yet firmly dragged the man upwards and put a hand on his back. 
“Do you mind if I touch you?” Tim asked. He sounded resigned about it - barely expecting Jon to respond. “Let me know how you want me to guide you.”
“Oh, it’s whatever. If you’re going to play it this way.” Jon easily looped his arm through Tim’s, who didn’t bother to mask his shock. “Let’s just get this over with.”
Sasha went ahead of them, watching Tim walk Jon down the aisle - hah! - with his arm looped through his elbow and a hand on his back. It was exactly the kind of care and meticulousness that Sasha always saw in him when it came to others. He literally walked grannies across the street. It was horrendous. She got second-hand embarrassed whenever she saw it.
Tim was loudly, extremely, messily kind. He was a person who adopted lost causes, like young men too grumpy to make real friends and women who only knew academia and never people. Sasha told him that once he got his teeth into something he never let go. It would get him into trouble one day. Maybe it already had. 
Sure enough, when Sasha opened the library door for them and peeked her head into the hallway, she saw that Jon’s office door was very firmly shut and locked. Even more incriminatingly, she heard his cute little theater drama monologues starting. Tim had found Jon’s theater aspirations very adorable and he had tried recording them to put on his Snapchat and maybe get him discovered by an agent, but unfortunately the videos made Tim’s phone bleed. They had given Martin ten pounds to taste the blood. Man would do anything for ten pounds, but seeing as they all worked this job that probably applied to all them. 
A workplace made out of people who always picked ‘dare’ in truth or dare. It was kind of a miracle they were still alive. Sasha was a little uncertain how she had survived to thirty five, actually. 
Once Sasha gave the all clear, Tim was able to bring Jon (Neo-Jon? Nega-Jon? Dark Jon? Mean Jon? No, that was just Jon) into the bullpen. Softly narrating what he was doing, he pulled out a chair and lowered Jon into it. 
Homeless Jon hasn’t been blind for very long, Sasha noted clinically. Long enough that he seemed more mildly irritated by it than anything else, but instead of orienting himself or testing out where he was he just kind of slumped in his chair. 
“Jon - uh, the Boss is taken care of?” Tim asked Martin, who was rapidly bustling into the bullpen with four cups of tea that he seemed to be under the impression would help. Tim had sat Homeless Jon in Martin’s chair, which seemed to fluster Martin a bit. 
“Uh, yeah. Gave him a normal statement to get his guard down, then five of the - you know, weird - statements and said that he has to go through all of them today. He’ll be in there for an hour at least.” 
Sasha frowned. “After two he gets a headache and gets bitchy.”
“Three o’clock exactly,” Tim said solemnly.
“Oh, leave off,” Homeless Jon said, “it wasn’t that bad.”
Everybody double taked and looked at each other significantly - which was quickly becoming their predominant mode of communication in a ruthless act of ableism. But Martin just held out a cup of tea, faltering as he clearly stopped to wonder the easiest way to give it to him. 
“Can you hold out your hands, Jon? I have some tea for you. It’s hot, so be careful, okay?”
“If the tea’s spiders I’m going to take it out on Annabelle,” Weird Jon said, but he held out his hands anyway and let Martin put the mug in them. He sniffed it cautiously, checking for spiders, before taking a cautious sip. 
To Sasha and Tim, Martin said, “I know, he’s going to fall asleep after two. I mean, it might be because I drugged his tea a little -”
Weird Jon spat out his tea back into the mug. 
“ - so we shouldn’t be interrupted,” Martin said brightly, clapping his hands. “Now! I think it’s time for explanations, don’t you?” He turned his mighty gaze upon Thankfully Blind Jon, who was occupied carefully holding the tea away from himself. “Drink your tea, Jon.”
Jon drank his tea. His expression twisted. “It tastes just like his.”
Everybody looked at each other. Tim mouthed the word ‘time traveller’ very clearly. Both Sasha and Martin nodded. It was the obvious explanation. 
“An explanation now, please,” Martin said pleasantly. “If you’re a time traveller, you can tell us. This is a safe space.”
Jon-from-the-future’s expression harshened in creases. He hadn’t once relaxed, expression permanently tightened in annoyance and disgruntlement. It was ridiculously Jon. 
Definitely a time traveller. You didn’t work at the Magnus Institute without secretly spending your life deeply hoping you run into a time traveller. Every researcher upstairs secretly prayed to discover the majesty. Everyone in Artifact Storage eagerly gathered around mysterious clocks and dared each other to touch them. Sasha, Queen of Truth-or-Dare, was the undisputed expert in making other people touch weird clocks and recording their reactions.
“Fine,” Super Time Traveller Jon said. “I know this is what you want. Statement of a stupid punishment by the pettiest little color in the evil crayon box. Recorded by the Archivist, in situ. Statement begins.”
Wow, Jon still had his job in the future? That’s a surprise. 
Martin was mouthing the word ‘evil crayon box’ to himself, looking increasingly concerned. The forgotten tape recorder, clenched in Sasha’s fist without her even realizing it, clicked and whirred. 
Then the Archivist began to speak. 
***
In the hazy amber of a memory, there exists an office.
You can see it clearly in your mind’s Eye, even now. You could likely navigate all of it blindfolded - which you now see that your god has the intention to test. Every corner of it is known to you, in the most subtle and mundane of ways. There’s a dust bunny in that corner, never tidied. A mysterious stain on the far right ceiling. The faint smell of blood, just under the vents. The hot waft of tea; your hands wrapped around a mug. 
Through these lonely offices, ghosts roam. They cling to desks and chairs; lingering in favorite mugs or in forgotten hair ties. A metal file cabinet holding neat rows of clothing, blood-stained jackets abandoned. A whiteboard with stubborn flakes of dried marker, forgotten handwriting clinging to life. These imprints no longer evoke terror or grief or pain. They are as familiar as the bloodstains and tea. Even death, eventually, is familiar. After long enough in a nightmare, it becomes indistinguishable from reality. 
There is nothing unfamiliar in the Magnus Institute.
Nothing save these voices, emerging from nothing. Every one of your six million senses have been cut off - your hundred eyes reduced to none. You are cognizant only of two familiar voices, and one unfamiliar one. A firm hand, with calloused fingers from leafing through aged paper. A creaky desk chair - Martin’s, undoubtedly, always squeaking as he fidgeted in distraction. The air tastes the same as it used to back then, before the AC broke and no repairman would step inside to repair it. Daisy did, eventually. Three familiar voices, rendered unfamiliar by the harsh tides of wind and cruel plastic hands. 
You are afraid of very little, these days. In this world that you’ve built, there is nothing that can harm you. The twisted little puppet strung up in his tower has been long since been disposed of, and the awful and terrifying future has settled into a gentle present. The apocalypse grows tedious after a while, and the buffet of fears start tasting a little samey.
But if anything could frighten you, this would. If anything would petrify you, it would be Tim’s kind smile, which died a year before Tim did. If anything could freeze you to your chair, it would be the sight of Sasha with red-rimmed eyes asking why you never even noticed that she was gone. 
The sanctuary of memory corrupted. A mental place of safety infiltrated. A mind turned inside out, exposing its vulnerable flesh to the world. 
There is nothing else this could be but your own personal hell. 
Your loyal servant crouches on bended knee, giving this final prayer to you. He asks, humbly and with great reverence, one simple question:
Why couldn’t this have waited until after I got my milk?
***
The spell ruptured.
It was almost tangible, like a change in air pressure making your ears pop. Sasha blinked harshly, rubbing at her ears and trying to soothe strange ringing. Tim exhaled heavily and Martin screwed his eyes open and shut harshly, as if he was seeing spots. 
The only person unaffected was Weirdly Christian Jon, who was slumped in Martin’s chair with his arms folded over his chest. He was still looking at the ceiling - speaking to whoever he had been addressing this entire time. 
“Just one day,” Jon was saying. “Just one day! It was going to be a nice day! We had decided to take a day trip to the Flesh garden and have a picnic! My darling and beautiful husband was going to make us a cake! ‘Walk down to the Hell corner store’, my husband says. ‘Pick us up some Eldritch milk’, he says. ‘Why do I have to do it’, I says, ‘I’m in the middle of something’. ‘We need cake for bridge night with the girls and I’ll divorce you if you don’t do it’, he says. I didn’t even change out of my nightmare pyjamas! What did I ever do to you? How are you still upset about the eye thing?”
Sasha and the Assistants, still digesting the extremely disturbing monologue, let him talk. Sasha was caught up in how it felt exactly like Jon’s little drama monologues. Granted, he had obviously gotten a lot more practice - guy could go to Broadway - but the weird lilting and falling sing-songyness was just the same. And he only ever did that for the very weird ones. The ones that they were pretty certain were actually true. 
So that probably meant at one point in the future, if Jon was speaking about the Archives as if they had worked there for years. Probably during the apocalypse. Which was happening. Which Jon had...built? Like, as a personal thing, or in a metaphor for capitalism and the human race? Definitely the capitalism thing - Jon was prone to flights of filing-induced passion that sometimes accidentally resulted in a stapler flying and punching a hole through the wall, but she couldn’t even imagine him even purposefully punching someone, much less being the Antichrist. Unless it was one of those things that just happened to you, like a rare genetic defect. 
“Seriously. What was the alternative here? Endless horrorterrors, everybody screaming all the time? It was boring. You eat one Statement about somebody standing in line at a slaughterhouse conveyor belt and you’ve eaten them all. I didn’t do it because I didn’t like you, although for the record I don’t. But you have to admit that having Eldritch Lidls are much more practical than just having a bunch of people lying around screaming all the time. It’s not as if I don’t have other eyes, I hardly miss them. There’s no chocolate cakes in the swirling vortex of mankind’s worst nightmares!”
Okay. They had to find a way to engage with this guy. He was completely ignoring them, probably because he thought that they were mean ghosts. Sasha was only one of those things, and it was hurting her feelings. Judging from the expression on Tim’s face he was thinking the same thing. 
Or - wait, Sasha knew that eyebrow. That was the ‘please please please tell the apocalypse has zombies’ eyebrow. Great. 
But Martin was just looking thoughtful again. Sasha was pretty proud of him - it was probably very difficult for the poor man to remain coherent in the face of the crazy time-traveller who was definitely hotter than their already objectively unfairly hot boss. 
“Jon,” Martin said, cutting Jon’s tired rant about how eggs benedict were much better these days, “Uh, I have an idea? Maybe you can’t get out of the - nightmare by bargaining with it. Do you know how to normally escape these things?”
Jon angled his head down and frowned in Martin’s direction. So far Martin seemed to be the only person who could shut Jon up, which was a hilarious turnaround from normal life. Sasha hadn’t heard anything about Martin being a sad little ghost, but it was hard to believe that Martin was a survivor in the zombie apocalypse. 
“You go through the statement and you walk through it,” Jon said, in a very ‘duh’ kind of way. “Give the statement, highfive corpses, whatever.”
“Right, right.” Martin wrung his hands, biting at his lip. “So maybe it’s like that. Maybe instead of asking to be let out - you just have to walk through it. Like - like it’s a maze. Does that make sense? I’m not sure, it’s just an idea.”
Jon pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing. “Right as always, Martin.” Everybody’s jaw dropped, and Martin squeaked. “Fine, fine. Let’s...interact with the evil ghosts.” Jon gestured out with his arms, in a very ‘come at me bro’ gesture. “Go ahead and shoot. Hit me with how much you hate me and how disappointed you are that I never amounted to anything and started the apocalypse.”
Finally! Interrogation time! 
But before Sasha could finally find out if global warming had killed the world, Tim jumped in. “Are there zombies in the apocalypse?!” Tim cried, way too excited. “Is it like the Walking Dead? Or is it more Last of Us?”
Jon squinted in Tim’s direction. “Define zombie.”
“...hunger for human flesh, shambling, gross looking?” Tim rolled his eyes. “Don’t tell me you still haven’t seen any zombie movies.”
“I’m omniscient, I’ve seen every zombie movie,” Jon lied blatantly. “I just think that you’re - you know, stereotyping. Sometimes people are the undead and eat humans and they’re - they’re very normal people.”
“Yeah, Tim, be sensitive,” Sasha said gleefully. She put the tape recorder on Martin’s desk, deciding that she would definitely need a transcript of this interview later. Also maybe ask more questions about that omniscient thing, but she was sure Jon was just exaggerating. If you asked Jon today if he was the smartest person on Earth he’d probably say yes. Jon wasn’t even the smartest person in the room.
For good measure, she drew out her little notebook from her pencil skirt pocket, flipping through it looking for a clean page. “The Archives have never gotten a time traveller before. This is unprecedented in its history.” Well, she really didn’t know what Gertrude had gotten up to, but she dearly hoped it wasn’t this. “Do you have any warnings? Desperate messages from a ruined world, that kind of thing?”
“I’m not a time traveller,” Jon said flatly, “so no.”
Everybody stared at him in abject pity.
“Mate,” Tim said sympathetically, “it’s 2015. You’re a time traveller.”
“No, I’m in a pocket hell dimension in a period beyond time and space,” Jon corrected arrogantly. “Time travel doesn’t exist.”
“The apocalypse exists but time travel doesn’t exist?” Martin cried. “That’s so unfair! Like, give us something, you know?”
“Your life is very hard,” the extratemporal reject said. 
Typical Jon. A classic case of time travel and here he was denying it. Sasha crossed her arms, upset that they were wasting time debating temporal physics when they could be talking about zombies. She was a historian and had priorities. “Your denial ain’t cute, mate. You’re just wasting all of our time.” Jon opened his mouth, but Sasha steamrolled over him. “You want evidence, right? Do you need to, like, touch my face? Make sure that I’m not a sexy ghost?”
“That’s a stereotype that nobody actually does,” Jon said. 
“Insensitive as always, Sasha,” Martin condemned. 
“How else are we going to prove it to him?” Sasha said, somewhat defensively. “It’s not as if we have any evidence that we’re not sexy ghosts.”
With utmost care and incredible gentleness, Tim reached out an open hand and gently smooshed it into Jon’s face.
Jon slumped in his seat, arms folded, unimpressed. 
“No mortal who is not my darling husband has dared to touch me since I became the Antichrist,” Jon said.
“I don’t know,” Tim said, withdrawing his hand and looking at Sasha. “What’s more unbelievable: Jon as the Antichrist or Jon with a husband?”
“Jon’s gay?” Martin cried, face beet red. “Gay Jon? Gay Jon real?”
“So, like, how do you get the Antichrist gig?” Sasha asked as she silently passed Tim a fiver. Her queerdar had never been so wrong. “Is it like an adventurer quest you can do or would you call it more of a rare genetic disorder thing?”
“Definitely rare genetic disorder.”
“Then does that mean that our Jon also has the Antichrist gene?” Tim asked, alarmed. “You’d never think so just looking at him! It’s always the quiet ones.”
“No, this makes sense,” Martin said.
Tim stared at him. “So, is that, like, a negative for you, or a positive…?”
Martin’s silence was incriminating. 
“It’s a positive,” Jon said helpfully, startling everyone. They had conveniently forgotten not to talk about one very horny man’s very horny crush in front of sad grumpy time travelling crush. “He’s into it.”
“Wow, Jon,” Tim said, “what would your husband say?”
In a completely pointless show of sass, Jon rolled his eyes. “My useless husband is likely much more concerned with how I managed to get trapped in a nightmare dimension on my way back from the Hell corner store.” He waved a hand absently. “So, if we can hurry this up? Get started on the whole torturing me thing? Right now you’re just on track to annoying me to death.”
“We annoy you to death now!” Tim exclaimed, as Martin’s eyes boggled. “Isn’t that more proof for the time traveller theory?”
“It wasn’t annoying,” Jon said curtly. “I secretly enjoyed it. I always felt a little bad that I wasn’t included. Or wouldn’t let myself be included.”
That, abruptly, made everyone feel a little bad. Not guilty, seeing as Jon neither wanted nor deserved their affection, but just kind of bad. Future Jon didn’t seem any happier than regular Jon. Sasha liked to imagine that if she was trapped in an indeterminate period in time and space in a post-apoc hellscape, she’d at least be having fun.
Everybody looked at each other, equally a little uncomfortable. Tim was the one who finally took control of the situation, as the self-appointed Jon & Everyone Else mediator. He had taken up the mantle years ago and worse it with pride, and occasional exhaustion. 
“Look,” Tim said, as reasonably as possible. “Let’s just say, hypothetically, this was super cool and awesome time travel. Let’s also say maybe this was completely baller and you’re from a post apoc future where everyone wears leather.”
“That’s just Melanie.”
“Put it down as one person who wears leather in the future!” Tim cried, and Sasha obediently jotted it down.”But let’s just put all of this in a hypothetical situation where you aren’t...uh, in a bad dream? So would there, hypothetically, be a way to stop the apocalypse or something?”
Jesus christ. What a try-hard. 
Sasha crossed her arms, glaring at Tim. From next to her, Martin looked just as peeved. “Seriously, dude? Like we can just up and stop capitalism?”
“I don’t want responsibility for stopping the apocalypse,” Martin protested. “I can barely navigate the bus system. What if the Terminator comes after my mother or something?”
“You’ll be a bit better off, frankly,” Jon said. Martin nodded, conceding the point, before looking faintly disturbed. 
“But he said that he caused it,” Tim protested. “Maybe the power of friendship can fix this? I mean, the apocalypse is cool, but I feel like this is the part where we’re all badasses and we fight evil or something.” Tim’s eyes widened. “That’s what the Magnus Institute is for. To stop the apocalypse!”
“Every day I feel a slight sense of emptiness due to my internalized guilt about your death, but you are usually wrong about things,” Jon said flatly, which seemed to both perk Tim up and depress him slightly. “And no. There’s nothing you can do. There’s no one event that precipitated the apocalypse; no rules of engagement. You are puppets on strings, indulging in the fantasy of free will. Yes, Sasha, the apocalypse is capitalism.”
Everybody stood in slightly depressed silence over this. Sasha, personally, was a little relieved. She really didn’t have to deal with the whole ‘preventing the apocalypse’ thing. She’d rather spend the finals days of the world in hedonism, frankly. 
Really, the unique providence of the millennial was to live your entire life half-way convinced you were in the twilight years of the world. This hedonism and apathy was second nature. Or maybe the apathy was a Leitner - Sasha had lost track of that too. 
“Aw, man,” Martin said, summarizing the abstract and complex feelings deftly and succinctly. “This sucks.”
“Yeah, this blows,” Tim agreed. “So should I buy my muscle car now, or later, or what?”
Then Martin and Tim started arguing over fuel efficiency in the apocalypse, and Jon royally checked out of the conversation. Sasha imagined that he was internally having a bit of a Saving Private Ryan moment where flashbacks of bombshells exploded behind his eyelids or whatever the fuck. The important thing is that everyone was distracted, and Sasha could finally check up on their most important gambit of the day: making sure Jon wasn’t bothering them. 
Sasha listened carefully for the sounds of Jon’s little theater monologues, and caught only faint hints of sound. She slipped past everyone into the hallway and approached Jon’s office door, pressing her ear against the cheap wood. But she didn’t need to worry: he was still reciting away, oblivious to the actual interesting shit that was happening outside his door. Jon was a delicate plant, you couldn’t stress him out too much or he would die. Hopefully Martin’s drugged tea would kick in soon -
But Antichrist Jon’s head jerked towards her, directly behind him, and Sasha saw his unfocused green eyes fixate directly on her. No, not on her - on the door, or something beyond it. For just a second, his eyes flared a sharp and toxic green. 
“There you are,” Creepy Jon hissed. 
Well, sorry for leaving rooms without telling him, but she hadn’t thought that he even noticed, much less got resentful about it. But Weird Jon was standing up with no hesitation, and effortlessly swerved around Martin’s desk and stalked into the hallway. For the first time, his expression looked a little dangerous. It was bizarre and off putting, like seeing a ragged yet murderous two meter kitten. 
He reached out an arm and let it trail across the wall, stopping short when he felt it hit wood instead of plaster. Tim and Martin surged forward to stop him, yelling warnings, but Sasha quickly stepped back. She never impeded the timeless march of science and progress. Sasha had done far worse in Artifact Storage for knowledge. 
Jon brushed his hand down the door until it hit the doorknob and angrily twisted it, heaving the door open with unnecessary force. Tim and Martin spilled into the hallway as Angry Jon stalked inside, and Sasha eagerly hung in the door frame for a front row seat into the drama. 
“This is your fault,” Jon intoned dangerously, directly in the face of a deathly affronted Jon. 
In the spirit of the First Directive, Sasha heroically stretched out an arm and prevented Tim and Martin from spilling into the office. It was the right call. Jon stalked forward into the office, hair whipping in a nonexistent wind, expression obscured but undoubtedly thunderous, advancing on the terrified Archivist, as -
He tripped over a chair left carelessly in the center of the office, rocketing forward to land flatly on his face. 
Beside her, Martin went white as a sheet. “Oh no.”
Simultaneously, in complete and total unison, Jon and the Archivist yelled, “Martin!”
****
Jon and the Archivist sat across from each other, exuding waves of pure mutual hatred.
Tim had quickly helped the Archivist up, moving the chair forward and getting him situated there. The Archivist’s mood was not improved by any of this. Which was difficult enough to handle by itself, if manageable. Sasha knew how to manage grumpy time travelling blind Antichrists who had gotten lost on their way to the corner store.
She even knew how to handle their boss, who was extremely grumpy about being harassed by a random homeless person with nice hair. Jon hated statement givers at the best of times, much less seemingly homeless ex-corpses. Or, well, Sasha didn’t know if he was an ex-corpse, but he was certainly an animate one. 
They were both being so annoying about it Sasha was trying to determine if she should change their nicknames to something more derogatory. Thing 1 and Thing 2? Too long. 
Both of them were very grumpy about the fact that Martin had pushed aside the chair for guests in front of Jon’s desks when he deposited the drugged tea, accidentally moving it close to the center of the office. Jon had known this because he saw it happen. The Archivist had known this because he, apparently, knew Martin very well. 
Today had really been a bonding experience with Sasha, Martin, and Tim. Their skill at silent communication had reached borderline telepathy. They all looked at each other significantly as the Jons were caught in their mutual dyad of hatred, silently commiserating over the fact that their one goal had been spoiled by the greatest wildcard of all. Sasha privately liked to consider herself somewhat of a wildcard, but she was depressingly aware that the entire Archive team was composed of wildcards. Maybe that’s why half of them didn’t survive the apocalypse. 
It was a little unlikely that Jon was a survivor/instigator in the zombie apocalypse, actually. Dude definitely would have bit it if he wasn’t cheating with Antichrist powers. Now, if Sasha had Antichrist powers, this whole game would be looking very different -
“Boss, this is a statement giver,” Tim hinted desperately, hands clenched so hard on the back of the Archivist’s chair that his knuckles were turning white. “Remember what Elias said about statement givers? About how we can’t harass them?”
“I was in the middle of a recording and this man was unnecessarily confrontational,” Jon said crisply. Sasha caught her eye jumping frantically back and forth between the two, trying to reconcile them. Honestly, if it wasn’t for Martin’s horny surety, she wouldn’t have realized that they were the same person at all. The Archivist’s most defining attribute was his big and fluffy hair, and Jon was sadly lacking in the nice hair department. That fade and twists were the shackle around his ankle. So was the sweater vest, baggy tweed jacket, and ill-fitting.“He’s lucky I’m not throwing him out.”
Martin, who looked as if he was having his tenth gay crisis of the morning, didn’t seem to hold the same opinion, but he was king of bad taste anyway. 
“Remember what Elias said about harassing confused, blind statement givers? Remember that? Boss?”
Jon looked confused. “He didn’t specify the community of people with disabilities.”
“It was implied? Jon?”
“The optics would be terrible,” Sasha said, before snickering. Martin stomped on her foot. She stomped on his back, which definitely hurt a lot more. “Look, Jon, sorry about all of this. He was just - uh - really insistent that he talk to you -”
“I think if our visitor hassles Jon then maybe, objectively, you can say that Jon brought it on himself,” Martin said, in a daring show of anti-Jon sentiment.
This act of subtle rebellion was the first thing that broke the Archivist out of his cycle of hatred. He threw out a hand, bowling over Jon’s desktop cup of pens and sending them tumbling over the desk. Sasha saw him specifically orient his hand to do so. “Thank you, Martin! Your understanding of paraphysics is always immaculate.”
“Wow, really?”
“Stop complimenting my assistants,” Jon hissed, frantically diving to save his pens. “And stop - gesticulating over my desk! You did that on purpose!”
“Harassing the blind, Jon!”
“You don’t even need to tearfully blame me for how I ruined your life,” the Archivist said flatly. “You existing in my vicinity is torment enough.”
“That’s what I keep saying,” Sasha said, before pausing a beat. “I meant the first part, ha ha ha, obviously -”
“This man is a very normal statement giver who will be leaving any minute now,” Martin jumped in, “so there’s really no reason for us all to fight, when you think about it -”
“If you all don’t get out of my office, you are all fired -”
“You are listening.”
Everybody stopped talking at once, staring at the Archivist. He was still staring intently ahead, straight into his counterpart. Jon was hiding it, quite badly, but he was unsettled. He hadn’t even acknowledged that he and the man looked alike - the thought undoubtedly running through his brain and soundly dismissed - but it was clearly rattling him. But there was something else that was scaring him too - maybe the Archivist’s green eyes, so foreign from his own brown? His intense and furious expression, like cut glass? The particularly strange and heavy feeling in the air, prickling down the back of Sasha’s neck?
He hadn’t even stopped the recorder. 
“You are here,” the Archivist continued calmly. “You were listening in. Why you were listening in on him, and his regurgitated aftertaste of Statements, I do not know. I felt you, and I came to you. We cannot forsake each other. Do not hide yourself from me.”
The effect was immediate. 
The Archivist’s neck snapped forward, so harshly he cracked his head on Jon’s desk. Strangely enough, Jon screamed too, holding a hand to his temple as if he was suddenly pierced by a blinding headache. Tim immediately bent down to check on Archivist, making sure that he hadn’t hurt himself, as Martin bustled around the desk to check on Jon. Jon batted his hands away, scowling, so he was just fine. But the Archivist didn’t groan, or stir, or moan. He just lay there, still and limp, and when Tim shook him he didn’t even tense. 
The air was heavy, a tang of metal in her mouth like the crackle before a storm, and Sasha couldn’t fight a shiver. But she couldn’t take her eyes off Jon, either: the way he stared at the Archivist, hand on his forehead, eyes wide and growing wider. 
“Dad…?”
When the Archivist stirred, the spell was broken, and Jon’s mouth snapped shut so quickly it was as if he had never spoken at all. He turned his head and moaned, eyes opening uselessly. They were back to their usual toxic green, no flaring or flashing. 
“Mar’in? Where…”
“I’m here,” Martin said quickly, and ducked around the desk to grab the Archivist’s hand and squeeze. For just a second, Jon looked a little jealous. Sasha had the sense that Jon had never been mothered than anyone other than Martin and Tim, and the prospect confused and frightened him so much he reacted aggressively to it. “Everything alright? You hit your head.”
“How many eyes?” the Archivist asked weakly. 
“...physically, or functionally?”
But the Archivist just ran his burned hand over his smooth hand, kneading it and feeling the skin. “Still gone. Damn it.” He straightened, grimacing and spitting out a stray tendril of hair out of his mouth. “So it’s true…”
“So what’s true?” Tim asked urgently. “Do you finally believe us about the time travel thing? Because man, I have so many questions -”
He didn’t get the opportunity to say anything. The Archivist reached out a hand, fingers brushing against his shirt, and the Archivist’s hand abruptly clenched on the fabric. Tightly, roughly, the Archivist pulled him down and extended his other arm, and caught Tim in an awkward and lopsided hug. 
Tim carefully straightened him and returned the hug, gracing the Archivist with the patented Perfect Stoker Hug, and the Archivist buried his face in Tim’s shoulder. His chest didn’t heave, and his breath didn’t catch, but the element of desperation was pungent and unmistakable. 
“You were right,” Jon whispered. “We messed it all up.”
“Sure, yeah, totally!” Tim said, clapping the Archivist on the back in a masculine, yet sensitive way. “So, does this mean the zombie apocalypse is totally a-go, or…”
“Sasha,” the Archivist said, and Sasha chose to ignore her own personal distaste for hugs and being touched so she could step forward and hug him too. 
He clutched onto her just as tightly as he had Tim, which surprised her a little. Jon and Tim had probably been best friends in the future, and Sasha couldn’t imagine her and Jon ever truly being close. He respected her as a colleague, but that was probably because Sasha purposefully left her manuscripts around the office and aggressively used as many big words in front of him as possible. Jon had always been an obstacle to her - innocently stupid at best, malicious at worst. To think that he would grip her so tightly…
With meticulous care, the Archivist separated from her. His expression was crumpled, and for the first time Sasha saw something over than aggravation or impatience in Jon’s face. Relaxed and soft, he looked like a different man. No - he was a different man, it was just apparent. The change softened his sharp lines into something a little friendlier; his striking exterior melting into something pretty instead of imposing. 
Slowly, he raised his hand a little to tangle it in her hair. He frowned a little, gently tugging at it and feeling it spring back into place. “So it was curly…like mine…”
A lot of little hints snowballed into one strange and foreign realization. “Do you not remember me?”
“Dolls stole your identity,” the Archivist said apologetically. 
“Like credit card fraud, or -”
“Metaphysically.” He paused guiltily. “I mourned you as an abstract concept?”
“Like I’m every woman in Hollywood?” Sasha screeched, outraged. This was not trans rights. “Alright, royally fuck that. Feel my hair, mister. Full permission to touch it. Feel that? You call that abstract?” The Archivist shook his head, eyes wide, and Sasha gently moved his hand to rest on the top of her head. “Taller than you in eight cm heels, remember? You asked me how I walked in them, and I said -”
“ - Barbie’s Princess Charm School,” the Archivist said automatically, eyes widening. “I do remember.”
Martin clearly waited around to be tenderly embraced, and was disappointed. 
The Archivist stepped away from Sasha, expression creased in furious thought. “So it’s real. So far as anything’s real, I suppose. But I don’t understand how -” the Archivist’s eyes widened, and he snapped his fingers in realization. “The manhole!”
Everybody stared at him. 
“I’m sorry,” Jon said pleasantly, “what is going on -”
“I was walking down the street, and I remember hearing city work!” the Archivist said brightly. “They were doing their monthly ‘clearing the gators out of the sewer pipes’ maintenance! And the Beholding told me that there was an open manhole, and I said oh it’ll be fine, I’m a demigod on Earth, I don’t fall down manholes - and then -”
The door to Jon’s office dramatically crashed open, and everybody jumped straight in the air. Jon, whose office had seen two more incredibly theatrical entrances than usual today, immediately bristled and opened his mouth to earn them all another harassment complaint, before he abruptly shut his mouth. 
It was Elias, their miniature and unspeakably boring boss extraordinaire. He stood in the doorway, one hand clutching the doorframe, suit jacket askew and chest heaving. Had he ran down here?
“Is someone here?” the Archivist asked. 
“Uh, yeah,” Tim said, stepping forward cautiously. “It’s our boss, Mr. Bouchard. Elias, we’re taking a statement, can we help - ?”
“How did that get here?” Elias asked, voice strangely tense and coiled. “How did you - not even I could -”
“That makes sense!” Martin cried, thumping a fist on his open palm. “Elias wants to time travel just as much as everyone else in the Institute!”
“I’m sorry,” Jon said, pathetically behind, “time travel -”
“Did the time traveller sensor alarms in the basement go off?” Sasha asked, surprised. “I thought only Artifact Storage had those.”
“Uh, Mr. Statement Giver, are you okay?” Tim asked, but it was already too late.
The Archivist had turned to face Elias, expression unreadable. Sasha felt that crackle again, weighing down the air, and she saw the Archivist’s hair puff and frizz slightly with a green crackle. His neon green pupils shone again and spun, like an infernal wheel. 
“What’s wrong, Elias?” the Archivist mocked, as energy coursed through him. “Upset that Mama has a new favorite?”
And Sasha saw in that moment that the Archivist, who possessed the most inhuman green eyes she had ever seen, had eyes the same shade as Elias. 
“Oh, man,” Sasha said, “is Elias a time traveller too?”
“Only in the most mundane way. Can’t even get a little bit of special attention, Elias? Sad!” It was second-hand thrilling to watch someone mock their boss, living the dreams of everyone in the room. Even if it was a little weird how much Jon seemed to hate this guy - nobody hated Elias, just like nobody liked him, and nobody had any strong feelings at all besides unpromoted women.
 At the door, Elias’ expression was slack in - amazement? Was amazement the right word? He was staring at Jon as if...words didn’t even describe it. At least in any way that Sasha wanted to think about. 
“Mr. Bouchard, I swear I can explain,” Sasha, who could not explain, said hurriedly. “We found this corpse and we were going to tell you, but -”
But the Archivist cut her off, as if nothing was less important than explaining himself to Elias. “Did you want to know how to stop the apocalypse, Sasha?”
Sasha froze. Martin and Tim did too. Jon, who nobody had actually bothered to brief since he was kind of the fifth most important person in the room, dropped his pen. “Uh,” Sasha said, sweating. For the first time she understood the possible upsides of not knowing something. “I mean, if I have to, but you said that it was inevitable -”
“Oh, yes. But, just once every one or two centuries, a man comes along who fancies himself fate.” The Archivist raised a hand, eyes spinning and spinning, as Elias stood frozen in the doorframe. “I’ll be honest, Jonah. This isn’t to save the world. That’s so last year. I just really fucking hate you.” Something cracked in the air. “Ceaseless watcher, smite this -”
The door slammed shut. Sasha heard Elias lock it behind him. They all stood around as footsteps quickly echoed through the Archives, and another door slammed. Which was probably being locked too. 
They stood in silence, the Archivist having clearly heard the slams. He let his hand fall, but the energy didn’t cease crackling around him. He didn’t look resentful or disappointed - just thoughtful. 
“Everything in due time, I suppose. I guess it is pretty unfair to get to smite that man twice,” the Archivist said thoughtfully. “I’ll give someone else a turn.” His mouth twitched wryly. “You know, Sasha, there’s one other way to prevent the apocalypse.”
“Is it work?” Sasha asked tiredly. 
“You may kill the man who arranged the dominos,” the Archivist intoned, before hanging his head towards a petrified Jon. “Or you may kill the man who toppled them over.”
Sasha stared at Jon. Jon stared back, frozen like a deer in headlights.
Martin silently passed Sasha a penknife from Jon’s desk. 
“I’m very qualified for this job,” Jon protested weakly.
“Queen of feminism, I very much support you,” Tim said quickly, putting himself in between Sasha and Jon in a heroic display of stupidity, “but, maybe, killing your boss to take his job, is perhaps, maybe not that much of a great idea, just a thought?”
“The job’s being the Antichrist,” the Archivist pointed out, crossing his arms. 
“The direct action against sexism, xenophobia, and transphobia is very admirable,” Tim said, eyes held up as if he was placating a tiger, “but think of it this way - if you kill the Antichrist, then you become the Antichrist, like in - uh -”
“Pokemon,” Martin volunteered. 
Tim snapped his fingers. “Pokemon! So you shouldn’t -” He halted, turning back to Martin. “Pokemon? Seriously? That’s becoming champion -”
“A - alright, alright! Everybody stop!” Jon shakily stood up, brushing aside the empty tea mug right next to him. “That’s enough of all of this! I may not know what’s going on, or who this man is, or why he looks like me -”
“Hm,” Martin said, eyeing the empty tea mug. 
“ - why he looks like a homeless person, why he barged into my office and insulted me, why you are all defending this atrocious behavior, why you are calling it the work of time travel, which does not exist and you have no proof for it anyway -”
“Jon,” Martin said, watching Jon’s arm tremble, “maybe you should -”
“Shut up, Martin!”
“Don’t be rude to him!” the Archivist snapped. 
“You’ve been rude to him twice today!”
“I’m allowed to be rude to him! He’s even ruder to me! I’m the nice one!”
“ - and you were glowing in my office, which is just frankly rude,” Jon continued viciously, steamrolling over the Archivist. “You gave me a terrible headache, you hugged my assistants very inappropriately for the workplace, you made my boss walk in before trying to smite him, you encourage violence against my own person in revenge for a job that I definitely deserve -”
Both of Jon’s arms were shaking, and Tim’s eyebrows were slowly raising. “Boss, you should sit down, I think -”
“ - I want an explanation!” Jon yelled, slamming the desk. “And I’m not going to stop until you tell me what’s going on!”
Then Jon passed out. 
Everybody watched it happen. Everybody, save perhaps the Archivist, had noticed that it was about to happen: at first a tremor, then a shake, and then a final collapse. Like a marionette with his strings cut, Jon slumped over and crumpled solidly on the floor. 
Everybody stood in disaffected silence. Martin carefully stepped over and prodded Jon with his foot. “Out cold.” He shot a considering gaze at the empty tea mug. “Sorry, guys. Looks like I accidentally used the delayed action sedative.”
"It’s alright,” Tim said magnanimously. “At least that problem is solved now. Maybe we can convince him this was a bad dream when he wakes up.”
“If he insists it was real, we’ll just ask him for evidence and refuse to believe him without it,” Sasha suggested. 
“Isn’t that kinda gaslighting?” Martin asked. “Isn’t that, you know, a little morally dubious -”
“You did drug him,” Tim pointed out.
“I mean, hardly the first time?”
“Maybe Martin should be the Antichrist,” Sasha said thoughtfully.
The Archivist’s face was doing something extremely interesting, yet inscrutable.
“I really don’t want to be Antichrist, though,” Martin said apologetically. “Does it even pay?”
“Jon did say it was a job…” Sasha said, already considering herself in the role. “Do you guys think I’d be sexier as the Antichrist? Be honest.”
“Yes and completely,” Tim said immediately, before realizing that he said that too quickly. “I mean. I’d never objectify you. I respect women. But -”
“Oh, I see how it is,” Martin said, throwing up his hands. “When you think being the Antichrist is kind of hot it’s normal and M/F of you. But when I do it, then it’s ‘gross’ and ‘get that away from me’. Great double standards, guys.”
“It’s not the fact that it’s a guy,” Tim protested, “it’s the fact that it’s Jon -”
“Oh, when you think being the Antichrist is kind of hot then it’s normal and cis of you,” Sasha said heatedly, “but when Tim respects trans women, then it’s ‘gross’ and -”
“I respect all women,” Tim said, equally heatedly, “but I do want to acknowledge the systematic marginalization of trans women within the community, especially trans women of color like yourself -”
A hoarse wheeze echoed through the office.
Everyone froze, terrified by the haunted sound, but after a second Sasha realized it was the Archivist - Jon - who was laughing. 
They had never heard him laugh before. He was practically wheezing with it, bent over with his hands on his knees, with a strained cackle that fizzed with static around the corners. He was smiling broadly, his grin splitting his cheeks, for the first time that Sasha had ever seen. 
He straightened and threw his head back and laughed too, a greater belly-laugh that was so hysterical and fragile and free that it struck something strange and raw in Sasha’s heart. He rubbed his face with his hand, still laughing, and eventually broke into coughs. 
“I understand now,” Jon said, when he stopped coughing. “I thought that you had deposited me here in revenge. You had sensed that I was happy - that the green skies were beautiful, that your large eye seemed kind that day - and that you found it a waste of emotion. But that wasn’t true, was it? It must have been an accident. I’ve never been happier to hear these idiots arguing, and you’ve lost me like a toy behind a bookshelf. The strange stupidity of it! I’m enchanted.” He sombered a little, expression falling from hysterical glee into a soft and resigned happiness. He held up his hand, feeling the crackle of electricity run across his palms. “But you See me now. The foolish man brought you down upon us, and I intercepted your lightning bolt. His eyes, mundane and paltry, are closed, and you feel my consciousness in replacement of him. I can feel you already - my Eyes opening, the Reality that we built together calling me back. When your infinite grace re-aligns with every one of my atoms, forming the fabric of my world, I’ll snap back.”
Just like that?
Sasha had thought that there would be an...adventure, or quest, or something. At least a research binge. Some kind of heroic group effort. But the Archivist was a stretched rubber band, held tightly and out of position, and after long enough straining against its center it had to snap back. A telly flickering in and out, blaring the song of a dead channel. 
“Do we have time to group hug or something?” Tim offered weakly, undoubtedly thinking the same thing as she was. “Last goodbyes? Anything?”
“Howl’s Moving Castle moment?” Martin asked urgently. “I’ll find you in the future, right? We’re still together there, right?”
“Martin,” Jon said, strangely fond, “we were never apart.”
Martin turned a unique shade of red. 
But it was Sasha who Jon turned to, face angled to the sound of her voice. His expression was still distantly fond, but there was something strange in it too - a wry recognition, a subtle knowledge, a faint recollection of a joke that only he knew. 
“Sasha,” Jon said, “so long as you’re brave, and buy ten fire extinguishers and hide them around the office, things will be just fine. Buy twelve fire extinguishers, just to be safe. And don’t ever go inside Artifact Storage again. Not even for Alicia’s birthday party. If it’s a choice between worms and Artifact Storage then choose worms, the scars add a certain appeal. I cannot stress enough, not even if you lose your jacket in Artifact Storage -”
“Are you sure you don’t have anything to say to me?” Martin asked desperately, almost crying. Sasha, personally, wanted to circle back around to the worm thing. “Sad goodbyes? Waving a handkerchief? I thought you said I was alive? Don’t you have anything?”
Jon rolled his eyes. “Goodness, Martin, if you insist. There is something I’ve been meaning to tell you. In fact, I do believe it’s about time.” 
Martin’s mind clearly projected very loudly ‘I’ve been in love with you this entire time’ in blatant wish-fulfillment. Everybody held their breaths. 
Jon drew himself up to his full, imposing height, and sternly looked at all of them. “I’m tired of holding my tongue about this, Martin,” Jon said finally, and Martin qualified. “For the last time, I don’t load the dishwasher wrong. I load the dishwasher correctly. It’s you who’s always insisting that the cups go on the bottom. It’s a freakish way to live your life, and I’ll never forgive you for -”
Static blared in Sasha’s ears and overwrote her mind, and she screamed. The sensation was a pickaxe driven into her ears, an unforgivable rip and tear, and she heard her screams echoed in concert. 
Then the pain abated, and was gone. 
Sasha, Tim, and Martin were left standing in an empty office, accompanied only by the unconscious figure of their boss. There was nothing left of the Archivist, nor any suggestion that he had ever been here - just a drained mug, some scattered pens, and a lingering sense of malaise and confusion. 
Everybody looked at each other, feeling strangely and uniquely connected. It was hardly Sasha’s strangest Magnus Institute experience, but maybe it was the funnest. 
“Well,” Tim said finally, “at least one day this week wasn’t boring.”
“Yeah, I didn’t even have to get drunk today.” Sasha sighed. “We definitely have to gaslight Jon about this.”
Martin was already carefully lugging Jon onto his chair, arranging him so his arms were folded on the desk with his cheek resting on his forearm. “We’ll pretend it was just a weird dream.” He propped his hands on his hips, satisfied. “Hopefully this convinces him he needs more sleep.” Martin gasped in sudden realization. “Maybe he becomes the Antichrist because he needs more sleep! Guys, I have a great twenty step plan for saving the world.”
“Oh, come on, we said that was too much work.” Tim shrugged and opened the office door, holding it open and gesturing for them all to come out. “I think if we just friendship Jon to death, all of our problems will be solved.”
Martin just shrugged, following him out. They really did have paperwork that they needed to get back to. “Both are vital components. But...hey, it’s not weird to put the mugs on the bottom rack, is it? There’s not really that much of a difference, right?”
“Mate, you’re a fucking freak.” Tim looked backwards at Sasha, who was still standing in the office, dazed. “Sash, you coming? Let’s go day-drinking.”
“Yeah,” Sasha said, “in a sec.”
He shrugged and left the door propped open, and Sasha heard their bickering fade slowly as they walked down the hallway. 
But she couldn’t help staring at Jon sleeping at his desk, chest falling in and out, inhaling and exhaling slowly through his nose. His short, carefully maintained hair and meticulous fade. His baggy tweed and ill-fitting slacks. The subtle and shameful kind of earnestness, the desire mixed with fear mixed with hope mixed with genuine desire for a better future. He just wanted to be happy, to not be afraid anymore. He seemed weirdly human, when compared with his inhuman self. Or maybe it was the other way around. 
The tape recorder on Jon’s desk was still running. Sasha squinted at it, taking a second to listen to the staticy hiss. It was familiar, in the strangest possible way. It felt familiar -
Sasha reached out and grabbed the tape recorder, stuffing it in her pencil skirt pocket. “Just remember,” Sasha whispered, “I’d make a great candidate for Antichrist.”
She ran to go catch up with her coworkers, shutting the door behind them and leaving Jon sleeping contentedly in his office, head pillowed on his arms, dreaming strange and comforting dreams.
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that-blue-vault-dweller · 3 years ago
Note
the image of curie trying to sneak into the cuddle pile actually made me squee it was so cute! companions cuddling with sole reaction someday? <3
Aww!!! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!!! 🥰 Curie is one of my favorites to write (with my other two favorites being Piper and Cait) so I had quite a bit of fun throwing that in. 😊
Also, I may or may not have given Cait, Piper, and Curie a little extra description than the others, but it was not my fault. I was a victim of circumstance. Cuddling + my favorite girls = me getting description happy 😂😂😂
Thank you so much for this beautiful request! I hope you enjoy! 💙💛
Cait - Is always surprised when it happens. The first few times F!Sole suddenly just is leaning on her, her chin propped on Cait's shoulder as her arms wrap around Cait's middle, Cait is shocked as can be. She is a little stiff with it for the first several times, carefully wrapping a bony arm around F!Sole and sort of just letting her stay where she's at while Cait is frozen in place. However, as she grows more accustomed to it, Cait loosens somewhat and might even quietly signal F!Sole that she wants to cuddle by leaning against her a little more or carefully touching F!Sole's hand or shoulder and just being more touch-oriented in general. She is not much of an initiator, but if she has had a bad day, trusts F!Sole a lot, and F!Sole is lying down or sitting somewhere nearby, Cait will crawl over and just collapse on her best friend, knowing she'll make it better by being there for her unconditionally.
Piper - Absolutely adores the affection. Whenever she sits near F!Sole literally anywhere, F!Sole will just reach over and pull her over so she is leaned against her totally, her head resting against her best friend's chest or shoulder and F!Sole resting her head on Piper's as she just quietly listens to Piper talk. Piper will snuggle closer, never missing a beat as a big grin grows on her face while she yammers on about her day or whatever she has found out. However, if her best friend doesn't start cuddling her when she sits near her, Piper herself will usually initiate it. She'll just suddenly squish against F!Sole, completely unannounced as she carries on as if nothing happened, her arm tightly wrapped around her. If F!Sole is lying down anywhere, Piper takes that as a pure invitation to just flop down on top of her and be an aggravating little turd. But Piper knows her best friend secretly loves to be close with her found family and Piper is definitely no exception to the rule.
Curie - Is positively as happy as can be when F!Sole cuddles with her. When F!Sole first reaches her arm around Curie's neck and pulls her near so that her head is underneath F!Sole's chin and Curie is practically lying on her, Curie is practically popping with excitement and pure happiness. She loves all of the new sensations of actually being able to feel things when people touch her, and to be so near to someone that means so much to her is a true gift. When Curie finds out that F!Sole loves to cuddle with her friends, Curie has no problem springing impromptu cuddles on her. If F!Sole is lying down, Curie will sneak over and cuddle closely to her until F!Sole wraps her arms around her. Even if F!Sole is standing, she's not off-limits, and Curie will hurry over and just grab her around from behind, sometimes scaring her half to death if she is not expecting it. However, she takes it well, knowing that the girl is just excited to show her friend affection.
MacCready - Is pretty uncomfortable but finds it to be sort of nice. He never particularly wants to sit there very long with her but he usually lets her cuddle him for as long as she wants until he gets so uncomfortable that the only excuse he can think of is that he absolutely has to use the bathroom. She has since learned to release him before he gets to that point, understanding and respecting his boundaries. He never initiates cuddles, and he would honestly be fine with just occasional hugs since they do not make him feel quite as awkward.
Deacon - Is really squirmy and it does not last too long. He is not overly comfortable with cuddling or any extended contact, and it usually consists of the two of them sitting on a couch together and she just randomly throws her arm around his middle and leans her head against his shoulder. He sort of awkwardly pats her back and lets his hand rest there uncomfortably. He just wants to get away as soon as he possibly can without hurting her feelings in the process. Needless to say, he is definitely not an initiator and he honestly is not going to find her just so she can grab onto him. He cares about her in his own way, but touchy-feely stuff is not his thing.
Codsworth - Is very happy when she tries to cuddle him. It usually is more like a really extended hug, but he very much appreciates her effort even if he cannot truly feel the contact. He loves the sentiment and it lets him know that she truly sees him as family. And that is the greatest gift of all. As for initiation, he tries to in his own extremely strange way. He will usually reach a pincer around her, and she gets the message, quickly hugging him tightly. It just feels nice to him to see evident proof that she feels so much affection for him.
Hancock - Loves every single minute of it, and is not ashamed to say so. As soon as she does it, he is surprised, but he returns the affection quickly, asking her what got into her today. But other than that, he just happily holds her, grinning widely in spite of himself. He will not usually initiate it, but he has plenty of ways of trying to trick her into initiating it herself. If she's sad, then he says that he read somewhere in a Pre-War book that cuddling can raise serotonin levels. She usually just chuckles in reply to him before taking advantage of his offer. It always makes him very happy to just hug her tightly and not let go, feeling her warmth against him.
Danse - Does not know what to do, but secretly loves it to death and longs for more of it. Whenever she springs it on him out of nowhere the first few times, he is shocked and almost frozen, but he reacts soon enough and slowly brings his arms around her. He does not know what he is doing, but he knows that he absolutely loves the feeling of her actually wanting to be close with him and show that she cares in such a sweet way. It is a tenderness that he has never really experienced, and he just encloses her in his arms totally and enjoys it. He is never going to initiate it, worrying that he is imposing or something, but he openly welcomes it whenever F!Sole initiates. After finding out about his true identity, he usually wordlessly and unintentionally clues F!Sole in that he needs cuddles when he looks so serious and perturbed.
Preston - Enjoys it quite a bit, but it shocks him when she first does it. However, he does not have a problem reciprocating by putting an arm around her carefully. He is happy as can be when he is receiving affection like this, and it makes him feel like he actually matters to someone in a way that is more than just as a respected officer. He does not ever initiate it since he is sort of a bit too shy and uncertain to do so. However, he will ask for it very occasionally and very sheepishly, really hoping that she will not turn him down. He is always very pleased when she welcomes him with open arms.
Valentine - Honestly is terribly shocked, but he does enjoy it. When it first happens, he just sort of wraps an arm around her and pats her on the back kindly, expecting her to only hug him for a moment, but when she just snuggles closer and rest her head on his shoulder, he is very surprised. After all, his body is not exactly like that of humans and cannot be comfortable to lean against. But she seems to have no problem with that. He would never initiate cuddling, but he is always open to it if she wants to. He does not want to push her into anything, and he definitely does not want her to feel like she has to do it. Even if he does enjoy it greatly.
X6-88 - Is completely standoffish about it, but for some reason finds that a tiny piece of him actually likes it. Needless to say, he absolutely hates that part of him. When she first starts to spring these sorts of things on him, he insists that they need to find something more constructive to do. However, as time goes on, he insists much less and mostly retains complete silence, just letting her hold onto him but not really reciprocating. He would never initiate this sort of thing directly, but the closest he will get to it is sitting down on the same couch she is sitting on and just staying quiet in hopes that she will do it. She soon realizes what this gesture means, and she knows that he wants cuddles when he does that. She finds it quite adorable to be honest.
Dogmeat - Is absolutely thrilled any time she does it. Whenever she calls him over, giving him lots of pets before just hugging him close, he is wagging all over, panting happily and snuffling at her face. In fact, he oftentimes is the one initiating the cuddles, hurrying over to give her lots of kisses before trying to fit into her lap even though he is much too big for it. Literally every time that she is sleeping, he is either lying right next to her or on top of her. He is literally the best cuddle buddy ever because he is up for it twenty-four seven.
Strong - Absolutely hates it and will literally get up and walk away if she starts trying to do it. He will also fuss about it for a really long time, and makes a special note to bring it up in front of her other friends just to try to embarrass her and keep her from doing it ever again. However, when he least expects it, she will do it again to try to get him into the habit of letting her do it. Plus, she also thought it was kind of funny how he fussed constantly and let such a silly thing get to him.
Maxson - Is extremely uncomfortable with it, and believes that it is even somewhat inappropriate. However, he does secretly like it, and that feeling nags at him. He is usually significantly more chill about it if she initiates such a thing away from others, but he is still very uncomfortable. He is not in the least accustomed to such things, and he is one of those people that had originally thought this sort of thing was for either little kids or for people in love. But when he realizes that she is just showing she cares in a beautiful deeper than friendship but not at all romantic sort of way, he warms to it a little more. He will never initiate it, but he is eventually simply okay with it and lets her do as she wishes as long as absolutely no one can see them.
Sturges - Does not mind it at all, and actually likes it somewhat. It makes him a little uncomfortable the first few times she does it, but he soon realizes that it's her way of showing him that she cares about him. He is slightly self-conscious of how greasy and sweaty he often is, but since she does not seem to mind it, he just goes with it. He does not initiate it ever because he considers it to be the gentlemanly thing to do to let her decide if she wants to cuddle or not.
Glory - Is extremely uncomfortable and dangerously close to shoving F!Sole off when it first happens. However, she slowly figures out that it feels really nice to have someone's arms around her when the person is someone that she trusts as much as F!Sole. She is never fully comfortable with it, but she definitely craves it to a degree and will very hesitantly sort of bump F!Sole's shoulder to let her know that she would appreciate some love right about then. Especially if she has had a particularly difficult time with a mission or she is just feeling less than her usual self.
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jisungsmochi · 4 years ago
Text
i’ve got this friend - mark lee
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i’ve got this friend - mark lee 
based on the (unreleased) song by 5SOS 
neighbour & friend! mark + a very oblivious y/n (female)
word count: 1.7k 
summary: after a rumour stirs that you have a secret admirer, your neighbour and friend, mark lee begins to drop some, not so subtle, clues on who it might be. will his mission be a success?
//
mark hated lee haechan more than anything in the world right now. the little menace decided to spread the rumour that you had a secret admirer. mark was in panic mode, wanting nothing more than to roll up in a ball and cry.
“what the hell, man? what if she finds out?” mark groaned, holding the bridge of his nose, as haechan continued to giggle.
“would that be so bad? you’ve been pining over her since you became neighbours. isn’t it time for you to finally tell her how you feel?”
“what if she’s disappointed?” haechan immediately stopped laughing, furrowing his eyebrows at his glum faced friend.
“but what if she’s over the moon? you always look for the bad in these situations. you’re confessing to her, you have to” mark knew inside that he was partially right. it had been almost two years since he developed a friendship with you. although you weren’t attached to the hip, you were both friendly towards eachother and spent a fair amount of time together. haechan claimed he had a fool proof plan to ‘get the girl’ so let the games begin...
“hey! y/n, wait up” mark caught up with you as you exited your house.
“oh goodmorning mark” you smiled as you walked over to him, continuing to walk alongside him on your way to school.
“i gotta tell you something” he looks away from you, eyes drawn to the ground. you silently urge him to continue,
“i heard that someone likes you”
you immediately stop in your tracks, your face contorting into confusion yet also, excitement.
“really? do you know who it is?” you trailed slowly behind him, he didn’t even notice you had stopped briefly.
“uh yeah, i’ve got this friend, he doesn’t really want me to tell you who he is yet” you felt your heart sink, is this all some sick prank?
“mark, you don’t have to feed into these rumours-“
“no i’m being serious, you have an admirer” he softly smiled, making you feel slightly more at ease. mark had never lied to you before, why would he start now? you decided not to pry him anymore, wanting to keep this to yourself for the time being. of course you were curious as to who it was, but maybe keeping their identity hidden is giving them the courage to contact you eventually. you were hopeful, and so was mark. he wanted nothing more than for you to make your way to him.
“so is there anything else you wanna tell me about said admirer? is he tall? do i know him?” you begin to become impatient as you sat across from mark at your usual lunch table.
“um he’s kinda my size? i guess. you might know him, he does go to our school” you begin to turn around, scanning your eyes over the courtyard.
“don’t look now! he might be looking” mark hurriedly spoke, not thinking about his words.
“oh so he’s close to where we are?” you grew even more curious than before. you were going to get mark lee to crack, it was the only way.
‘oh fuck’ he thought to himself. what is he going to do now?
//
“mark, it’s honestly killing me! you really can’t tell me who he is? is he really that shy? or am i just intimidating?” you frown as you sit on mark’s couch in his basement. he invited you over sometimes whenever he was bored and needed someone to go over some of his song ideas with. mark was in a band with some of his close friends, they didn’t really have a proper name yet, and had barely played infront of people.
“you’re not intimidating at all! you’re one of the kindest people i know” he quickly jumps to your defence. he hesitates for a moment before continuing,
“well he plays the bass guitar, and oh! he thinks you would like him better if he had a car, kinda feels like a loser for not having one” your mind begins to wind, who do you know that can play bass and has no car...
well jeno was the official bassist of their band...and you remember him complaining at one of their practices that he was late because he had to take the bus. but really? did lee jeno have a crush on you? that seemed unrealistic. you barely had any interactions with him, only greeting him nicely whenever you tuned in to their practices. was mark trying to set you guys up or something?
“is it someone from your band?” mark froze, not expecting you to catch on so quickly. (not like he was being so discrete either)
“uh maybe, maybe not. i don’t know” he begins to ramble.
“i’m beginning to think you’re playing some weird prank on me, mark lee. i hope whoever this guy is, comes to me soon. the suspense is killing me!” and with that, mark knew he needed to speed up the plan.
//
“you gotta tell her soon, your stupid clues are probably making her stressed. and why the hell do you wanna make her stressed?!” haechan gave the older boy a hard smack on the back of the head.
“look, we need a new plan, asap”
“no shit, you’re lucky i’m the damage control” haechan huffed, putting on his figurative thinking cap.
“aha! you’re going to write her a song” mark raised an eyebrow at the younger boy as if he was insane, he can’t write a song in a day, not even a week sometimes.
“not an actual song! just a little snippet of a song describing your feelings, since you can’t seem to say it to her straight out. it’s a brilliant idea and you should thank me” mark understood where he was coming from. maybe if he sat you down, with his guitar and sang to you, it wouldn’t be as awkward or pressuring. lee haechan was in fact a genius.
//
“mark? it’s like 1am, what do you need me for?” you groan from your side of the phone call.
“i need to get something off my chest, meet me at the park in 10” part of you wanted to hang up and fall back asleep, but another part of you was curious as to why mark lee needed you so late in the night. you dressed yourself in a warm puffer jacket before making your way to the playground across from your and mark’s houses.
you saw him sitting on one of the swings, his guitar tucked close to him, his fingers strumming to a random tune.
“this better be good” you sigh, taking a seat on the swing next to him.
“the reason i asked you to come out here is because i haven’t been completely honest with you. i don’t want you to say anything until the song is done, it would really save me the embarrassment” he warned, making you slightly nervous. he took a deep breath, eyes focused on the strings of the guitar, before he began to play.
[ *cue ‘i’ve got this friend’ by 5sos hehe]
“I've got this friend who's crazy about you
I've got this friend who can't be without you
I've got this friend and I wish I could see
See what you'd say if I told you it was me
I want to tell you to see what you'd say
Before I jump in and I ask for that date
I've been that friend
I've been that friend and I wish I could see
How this would end if you knew it was me?”
your heart melted at each lyric. mark lee had been that ‘friend’ all along. the mark that always waited for you to walk to school together. the mark that always brought you home bubble tea when you were feeling down. the mark that always invited you over just because he enjoyed the company. it was him. it was always him.
you felt tears begin to fill your eyes, causing mark to place his guitar down and stand across from you, holding your shoulders gently.
“d-did i say something wrong? did i mess things up? i’m so sorry, y/n. i should have come clean so-“
“no mark, i’m not mad or sad! i’m just really overwhelmed. here i was thinking that this was all some silly joke when the whole time, you were my admirer” you slightly sniffled at the last part, making mark’s heart swoon. he wiped a tear that fell from your eye, as you leant into his warm palm.
“i don’t need you to say you like me back or anything, i just couldn’t go on with life without you knowing”
“i understand. and trust me, i’ve always seen you as my cute next door neighbour. and honestly, i’d be lying if i said that i haven’t thought about dating you” you felt heat rise to your cheeks, hoping he wouldn’t notice due to the cold.
“but all those clues! it must have been so entertaining to watch me struggle with piecing it all together! everything makes sense now, except for the bass guitar one. i thought you were just the lead guitarist?” you furrowed your eyebrows as mark began to chuckle.
“i kinda slipped up there, i can play both guitar and bass. i was actually the initial bassist of the band until we found jeno” mark explained, making you feel even more stupid.
“gosh, there i was thinking that jeno was my admirer” you saw mark begin to frown, causing you to stand and face him.
“but don’t worry about him, all my attention and focus will be on you now!” you smiled with glee, watching as mark copied your expression. he leaned down close to you, placing a small peck to your cheek, his breath slowly fanning your cheeks.
“so what do you say? go on a date with me?”
“of course, tell your little ‘friend’ he finally got the girl” you pulled him into a warm embrace, feeling him melt in your arms.
it was safe to say that you and mark didn’t remain friends for much longer.
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anime-grimmy-art · 4 years ago
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Told you guys I’d ramble in due time.
I absolutely adore Bravely Default 2. It came at a really bad time cos I can’t waste 70 hours on a jrpg, but well, it’s too late to be concerned about that now. And as is tradition with me obsessing over a new game / show / whatever, you’ll basically find a fullblown review disguised as ramblings right under the cut. Be aware that I’m gonna talk about EVERYTHING, so spoilers are a given. Some maybe even for the previous Bravely Default games.
Also, if you wanna talk about this game in any capacity, hit me up, I’m DESPERATE to talk more about it.
Just for reference on how long this is gonna be, I made a voice recording while driving to remember all the points I wanna make, and that recording is almost 2 hours long. I did cut it down but still, this is gonna be a lot.
I’ll start off with the things that actually bugged me about the game, since there are only 3 things that really bothered me. First of, I really don’t like that you can name Seth. He has too much personality to be a self insert and player integration is not that big of a part in the game that this decision can be justified. It wouldn’t bother me that much if it didn’t leave a bad mark on the ending. First of all, we were robbed of Gloria desperately shouting for Seth, which makes the impact work less, and it’s just so prevalent that the name can’t be said because you have all the normal sound design going. If they’d just let the credits still play I wouldn’t have batted an eye, but because every other sound comes in it’s so obvious they’re just silently shouting in this scene, which makes it look silly. Like I said, this decision is more a detriment than an addition, and it’s a shame it casts a shadow on an otherwise heartfelt ending.
Speaking about lost potential, the other thing that really bothers me is the lost potential in certain plot points and character conclusions. I mainly mean Adam and Edna here. Both of them have been built up to be these formidable foes but they just, die. If it was just Adam I’d be fine with it, since you expect Edna to backstab him and be the actual big bad of the story, but I cannot fathom why they dropped Edna this HARD. If not Edna herself, I don’t understand why we don’t get more of a reaction from the Fairies and especially Adelle. I mean, Edna was her sole reason she left for her journey in the first place, then Edna dies and that’s it? No part where she grieves for a second? No concern from the others about Adelle? Mind you, I haven’t finished all the Sidequests, so maybe there actually is one in which this is addressed, but I think even just a Party Chat after Bad End 1 would have been sufficient to show how Adelle suddenly feels about the loss of Edna. It would have made Bad End 2 / The Secret Ending even more impactful, because, yeah, of course, you kinda know Adelle isn’t going to turn her back on fairy kind, but one of the reasons she doesn’t leave is because if Enda didn’t get a happy ending, then she shouldn’t either. It would have been amazing foreshadowing if she showed this sentiment before this scene happened. Other than that, it’s a shame that we know so little about Edna, or rather, how she became “bad”. I get she’s supposed to be corrupted by the Night’s Nexus, but how did it even come to this? It can’t have been a gradual thing, after all, Adelle says Edna was always good natured and then just disappeared one day. Really would have loved seeing more of that plot point.
Ok, last gripe I have, some choices in the soundtrack and sound design. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love the OST, and I will get to that, but damn, whatever Revo used for the lead instrument in Wiswald hurts my ears. It’s a really good track, but I always have to turn down my volume because these high pitched sounds physically hurt. And for sound design. Dude, the Night’s Nexus is the least threatening, nightmare fueled abomination that ever existed. I get that its growl is kinda supposed to be layered with Edna’s or sth, but it, it just sounds silly. If they went the route of just swinging between different voices or began distorting it from phase to phase, it would have been fine. But the choice they made really made an otherwise creepy design just absolutely silly.
Ok, enough jammering, on to the good stuff. Like I said, there’s going to be a lot, so I’ll try to be brief in each aspect.
Gameplay
I honestly like the new battle mechanics more than the old ones. This individual, turn based system feels way more dynamic and it’s easier to strategies in battles. Because nothing made me more angry than setting up for a heal and the enemy suddenly being faster than me and killing my healer. Now it’s easier to plan ahead a bit.
I also found myself experimenting more with the jobs. Not sure what it really is, but none of the party members leaning more towards certain types of jobs and the job leveling being way faster probably helped.
And I know some people get up in arms because the boss sometimes can be a real pain in the ass (looking at you pope dude), I still found it very interesting getting around counters or even using these counters as a benefit. As an example, I made Adelle my main physical fighter and gave her lots of counter abilities to help her profit from being countered by enemies themselves. Now, she can attack enemies, get countered, automatically evade that counter and earn a BP at the same time. Made a lot of boss fights way easier and fun to exploit.
Music
Ok, I will try my best to be really, really brief, because in my recording this part takes up almost 40 minutes. Anyways, Revo might have just become one of my absolute favorite composers ever. I don’t know what kind of magic he used, but I initially wasn’t that impressed with the OST, but every time I listened to it, I just fell in love harder and harder. Before getting into specifics, I wanna highlight the two things that made me love this OST overall. First of all, this soundtrack almost seems like a refinement of BD’s. While losing some of that fairytale vibe, it sounds even more fantasy now. And in contrast to the original, this almost sounds more balanced? Like, BD’s OST felt high energy throughout, BD2’s on the other hand manages to find a good balance between high and low energy pieces. Like, the character themes or battle themes are absolute hype, but the overworld themes are a lot calmer and easier to listen to while exploring. Second big point that makes this soundtrack amazing is that Revo is an absolute god at using emotional progression/storytelling and leitmotifs in his songs. And heck, do I love myself my leitmotifs. You’ve got some obvious ones, like the final battle theme in which all the character themes and other leitmotifs are integrated. Then you got some maybe more subtle once, just like how the overworld themes are just the main theme, just a lot calmer and using the lead instruments of the towns of the areas.
But my absolute favourites gotta be the character themes and the main theme. I love how fitting the themes for the characters are and in general, each of them is such a bop. At first I prefered Elvis’, because I sure am a sucker for jazzy vibes, but over time Adelle’s became my fav. It’s just something about the trumpets, and how the theme almost sounds a bit melancholic and bittersweet, that drew me in. And considering her story, mostly her bad end, that the bittersweet tone really fits.
Then there’s the main theme. Just like BD’s it shouts “triumphant anthem” and it definitely gives you a very familiar vibe, but I’d argue it has even better emotional progression. Heck, the first time I heard the music start up in the reveal trailer, I didn’t have to look at the screen to know this is gonna be a BD game. Also, the credit song version had me weeping at the true end. I’m someone who’s very easily affected by music (if me shouting about soundtracks on this blog wasn’t proof enough) and just hearing that ending song, getting the after credits scene, just for the second credits to start as a freaking duet. Dude, at that point I just started sobbing, I’m not gonna lie. Just this little part showed how much Revo knows how to put emotion in a song and also write it in such a way that he can elicit strong, emotional reactions from you too. 
Story
People have been complaining how the story is too boring and kinda disappointing in comparison to the last one, but I just think the games tried to accomplish different things here. Since the BD series is a celebration of old, classic jrpgs, “cliche” storytelling is a given. Though, BD did throw a lot of meta stuff in there too. BD2 in contrast just feels like a direct execution of that initial idea. It feels familiar, it feels comfy and it feels safe. Except for the little things with the endings and then overwriting the Nexus’ “save file”, BD2 doesn’t really get that meta, which is totally fine. It doesn’t try to reinvent or innovate anything, it just wants to be a fantasy story, that might be cliche, but still fun and enjoyable in its own right.
I’d also argue that the pacing is a lot better than the old game, because with BD I sometimes found myself skipping through scenes to get on with the story. Not that this game didn’t have me rushing through stuff as well, but I found it kept my intrigue way better than the original.
Characters
Next to the music, this is the part that I absolutely love the most. While, yes, they did lose a lot of potential with some characters, mostly with the villains, the main cast is just so much fun. I love these 4 dorks so, so much.
I honestly can’t stand how much people compare them to the original cast. Yes, ofc, I’ve been doing my fair share of comparisons too, but calling these four a more boring version of BD’s party physically hurts me. Because except for some initial impressions, the Heroes of Light are completely different from our beloved Warriors of Light.
While yes, Seth and Gloria give off strong Tiz and Agnes vibes at first, they both grow into such different characters that they’re not really comparable. I think this shows with Adelle and Elvis even more. I do understand how people could compare Adelle and Edea, since they’re both the feisty girl type, but I can’t understand how people can see Ringabel and Elvis as the same character type. While those two are the “suave” party members, they act so differently from another. And that’s honestly apparent the first time you meet them. 
Anyways, I love these 4 so much.
We technically don’t know a lot about Seth at all, but they manage to pull so much out of just the fact that he’s a sailor, that it makes him really endearing, really fast.
I was kinda disinterested with Gloria at first, because again, the initial impression was Agnés2.0, but she grew on me a lot. Gloria is way more hard headed and honestly sassy in comparison to Agnés and I absolutely adore it.
Elvis. Elvis, my man. I love this fantasy scottosh wizard so, so much. He’s such a ridiculous character but so endearing at the same time. You got all this dorkiness, with him setting himself on fire as a student, him doing god knows what for a good drink or just laughing danger and prejudice in the face. But then you got his super empathetic and caring side. Mind you, most of his wise moments come from quoting Lady Emma, but still, as much as he’s hopeless with certain social situations, he’s actually still really good at reading the room and playing things smart. He’s a smart and powerful idiot, which makes him a danger to everyone and himself, and I love him for it. (I also can’t believe they called him Lesley I MEAN COME ON)
And then there’s Adelle. I liked her from the start, but I didn’t think she would stick out to me. I think now she’s my favourite character. Not even talking about all the stuff that happens in chapter 3 and onward, because these story threads are awesome in their own right, but there’s just something about her personality that’s interesting and appealing to me. Like I said, I’m not surprised people compare her to Edea, I did too at first, but while Edea walks very close to the line of a Tsundere, I was really surprised that Adelle is, well, not a Tsundere at all. Yeah, of course she’s putting Elvis down a lot, but that stems more from her preventing his ego from going to his head than her being all embarrassed. No, Adelle is actually really well adjusted when it comes to communication. While it’s hilarious that she and Elvis met with her chucking her shoes at him, the two just got along well right from the start. Adelle in general has this really open and helpful personality, but also doesn’t shy away from putting her foot down, even if that sometimes comes out as an embarrassed sputter. She’s also the mother hen of the group. She looks out for the other three and gets concerned about them real fast. 
I dunno, Adelle just really grew on me over the course of this game, and then her kinda being paired with Elvis too, as partners and as partners, makes me like her even more. Because as much as I like their personalities individually, I like their character dynamic even more. I honestly love the relationships between all four of them a lot. You really feel them grow closer as friends and all the little character sidequests just always made me really happy.
Conclusion
You might not believe me, but I really held back there. This could probably have been 3 times its length. As much as I love this game, it’s of course not perfect. It struggles and flails in some parts a lot and it certainly has some aspects that might turn people off. But for me, it was just a very familiar and comfy game that didn’t necessarily deliver anything new, but that told its story in such a way that it still got me excited to keep going. The soundtrack is absolutely amazing and the conclusion of the story actually got me to cry. While not groundbreaking, this game is highly enjoyable and leaves you absolutely satisfied at the end.
Also, I would like to iterate that I am desperate to get more content about this game, so if you wanna chat about it, hit me up.
Anyways, anyone else felt like having a fever dream when everybody in chapter 2 started talking fantasy scottish? Cos I sure did.
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stylistiquements · 4 years ago
Text
The Sorcerer pt. 1
Corpse Husband x gn!reader
Reincarnation AU | Summary :
The same candle lights up on Corpse’s desk every time you are reborn and turn 23. He has been looking for you during centuries but this time you might be closer than anticipated.  {Playlist}
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𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏 : 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞
You’re about to blow your 23rd candles and Corpse is about to experience the consequences of it. Somehow, something about your rebirth is different this time.
☾ Words : 6009.
☾ Warnings : angst, mention of death (only suggested and not specific), grieving, swearing 
Masterlist | Next 
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What does it mean to be a sorcerer in 2021? Corpse wonders as he chooses an outfit for his black bean character, lightly tapping his fingers in a crafted rhythm against his dark wooden desk. Nothing, really. The modern days turned his kind into a groundless concept, legendary creatures at best and it’s truly a shame when you think about it.
“Alright, are you ready?” Corpse asks as he moves his mouse above the “start” button and projects everyone into a new round.
“I won’t forgive you like I did last round,” Karl warns Corpse, dash of amusement in his tone.
“Sure,” he scoffs and the devious ghost of a smile shines on his lips when the bloody word “imposter” appears above his virtual pink cat hat.
Sorcerers used to be the rulers of this world and the most famous of well-hidden secrets; no one talked about it yet everyone knew. You just had to be here, respect and adoration followed their every move. People from all horizons went out of their way to meet them in hope of witnessing a miracle.
Oh, how the tables have turned now. They didn’t have to hide their face back then and it all went the harmonious way until a certain day when their fate met a tragic outcome. The day when life took a turn for the hidden.
Corpse is somehow retired now. Maybe that’s why he started doing youtube in the first place; because the craving of being needed had to be fulfilled one way or another. Or maybe because the thrill of life has been gone for so long he had to try everything to fill the void in hope of feeling a drip of something again. The weariness of a mere life stiffened in his rib cage from time to time, preventing a proper breathing.
He could have still been able to practice his magic facelessly -he wouldn’t be the first one to do so after all- but it seems crazy, surreal even, for him to picture being so public about such a heavy little secret nowadays. He found comfort in the concealed, in the invisible so long ago.
See, that’s the most important reason why Corpse is who he is today but stopping the explanations there would be neglecting the truth. Corpse would, but I'm more honest than he is.
Somehow, he believes a little too seriously that a kid’s app was designed to ruin his life. He feels this rotting taste that burns his tongue every time he thinks about it, he always talks about it with great passion; as if one minute videos could compete against the thundering energy that travels from his veins to the tip of his fingers. Witchcraft tiktok got the last bit of his ancestral pride and that’s a damn shame.
His character ambles around the hostile corridors dipped in yellow light, looking for a prey to slice in half. He doesn’t have a plan yet but he sure knows how to improvise by now. Corpse deems that he’s rather good at it. He meets Tina in O2. She’s wandering around, running like a headless chicken. What if he took that expression a little too seriously? Alas, he can’t wrap his mind around the idea of the unforgivable and she escapes his reach. Corpse’s nose wrinkles, better luck next time.
His fictional blood thirst gets stronger when he hops inside a vent and observes Rae’s red character doing her tasks. Corpse knows what comes next, it’s inevitable. A hint of excitement and nervousness hatch on his chest.
At the same time on the other side of the country, the ones you love are carrying a big cake to your table. It seems so silly and it leaves you slightly embarrassed that people are celebrating the fact that you were born but, somehow, you can’t forbid that smile to reach your ears.
When you look at the cake, a snort escapes your control. Your friends drew a glazed picture of you but you find yourself hoping that there isn’t much resemblance between that Picasso-ish designed cake and your actual face. I mean, except for that particularity your face displays; eyes that don’t match in colors, one green and one hazel, it really just looks like a kid's doodle.
23, what a weird number. It doesn’t sit quite right with you for some reason. 22 is fine, same goes for 24 but 23 … Somehow, it feels like something is either missing or too much. You’re not too sure which one it could be.
The warmth that emanates from the candles is sweet and tickles your chin softly and everyone is singing along the most disastrous birthday wishes. You’re preparing for your wish. What could you need more? You’re a faceless horror narrator on youtube and life is just about good. I mean, there really isn’t much to complain about and that should be enough.
Your mind drifts off for a second, contemplating what the dream life could be about while one of your friends is already complaining about wax getting all over your glazed face. You could wish for material things but they come and go and their meaning is only ephemeral, maybe 23 is about getting more than that.
Ah, found it. You close your eyes. May I find the place where I truly belong. 23 candles are blown in one breath, not a bad performance.
That’s when the candle on Corpse’s desk starts shining a delicate and orange shade.
Corpse doesn’t notice it at first, too impregnated by his hunt, but when the unusual warmth finally informs him of the merry event, he wrestles to keep his mind into the game. His virtual character stands motionless for a second as he mutes his mic and takes his headphones off.
Fuck, not now please.
Somewhere, a new version of the love of his life turned 23. His mind drifts off, wandering near this idea as his eyes meet the flame.
It’s been hundreds of years and that fucking candle kept you hostage of his mind. Because Corpse couldn’t forget about you, he built those walls to provide you from slipping away, from invading too much of his busy mind. It was a compromise he made with himself so he couldn’t reach you entirely and, therefore, miss you completely. Yet, your rebirth leaks through the pores of his brain and past the fences no matter how hard he tries.
Corpse battles to breathe, he tries to get his mind back on the game but somehow his throat is already filling with a dangerously acidic concoction. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t notice immediately the way his fingers start shaking at a painstaking rhythm.
He moves his character around. Left and right. It’s mechanical and meaningless, nothing but a lost cause. Corpse clenches his grip around the mouse, hoping that the unsteadiness would pity him. How much longer can he carry that feeling? It sits on his shoulders and his chest. It tests out his patience, his own resistance to pain.
“Corpse!” Rae shouts wholeheartedly, rooting him out of his spiral. “Where are you?!”
Fuck; he has no ounce of idea of what is happening in real life, too busy going down this familiar and intimate loop once more. He swallows it all, praying that you would spare him some earned mercy. You’re always so cruel, unabashedly sneaking in and taking over his space despite all his efforts.
“I-huh- I’m in medbay, I have scan," he bluffs, hoping that no one would notice the way his voice cracks at the end.
Because if anyone did, he would have to admit that he’s not okay, that he never was and doubts that he ever will be. Just as if conceding the facts would’ve allowed him to feel how flourishing his despair was. There’s this knot inside his throat. It’s painful and he’s so tired. How many times was he left crawling on his bathroom’s floor when his heart fractured a little deeper? He misses you every fucking day but each rebirth brings back more and more longing.
He would love to abandon himself to the aching pleasure of this unsolicited reminiscence but he knows that if he did, you would possess him wholly and never give him back. You plague his mind like a mist that grows thicker and thicker on his lungs. It diffuses everywhere and intoxicates what’s left of him.
“Sure sleepy but that’s bullshit,” Tina whines. “We know it’s Corpse. He’s been sus’ the entire round!”
“He said he had scan, right?” Sean interferes, believing that Corpse is the jester. “Why don’t you give him the benefit of the doubt?”
They’re all waiting for Corpse to step in, to defend himself but he’s no longer here, too busy trying to swallow the emotions that are leaking all over the place. It gnaws him alive, piece by piece and it hurts so fucking much. Will it ever stop?
Silence is convenient, “I voted” badges get pinned on everyone’s chest. His black character falls into the lava, what an ironic metaphor.
“Sorry guys, something came up and I gotta go.” He finally says, hurry in his voice. He doesn’t try to hide it. In fact, he can’t.
“Are you s…” Rae’s voice gets cut abruptly when Corpse quits the call without further notice.
Corpse knows what’s next, when his head gets overcrowded by feelings and his heart too empty. It’s ugly, it’s messy and oh how he wishes it would be different this time.
The room is spinning from the crumbs of your sweet face and the trickle of your voice that drips through his ears as if you were still here. He clings onto that distorted and stained picture as if it was the ultimate proof that you were real. Were you even real once ? Remembering feels like repeating a word over and over again: with time, it loses its meaning. It wasn’t you he remembered, Corpse figured it out a long time ago. You weren’t there anymore.
The thought of it drives him crazy. He wishes he could get rid of that fucking candle, constant reminder of your rebirth away from him, constant reminder of the defeat he has to endure every time you turn 23 and you’re still not by his side. He has been looking for you everywhere for hundreds of years, from the biggest capitals to the most secluded parts of this world, without a single hint of your existence. You’re his greatest failure and he can’t, he won’t stand that.
Corpse grabs the candle and it collides with the floor with a thud that tangles with his raw voice. His chest moves heavily. It's scattered and in discord and there is this distorted gaze on his face when he remembers that the candle cannot be shattered. It’s this unsolicited spark of self-awareness that brings him closer to reality. Fuck. What the fuck is he doing? Corpse finally lost his damn mind. His hands wander uncontrollably in his hair and he looks around frantically for a second, trying to remember how to survive.
Corpse’s head is pressuring him, rushing him to turn off his computer and spill the words that are stuck on the back of his tongue on a piece of paper. That grip is unforgivable and unclear but he starts writing as if it was the only thing left to do, maybe it is. It feels like survival instinct at this point, it feels like the last attempt to collect the pieces of himself you left behind.
Dear you,
Happy birthday, wherever you are in this world. Another letter is about to join the pile. How many are there already? I wouldn’t know. I stopped counting since it made me sick.
As every time, I hope it’s the best birthday you have ever had. I remember the twenty-third birthday we spent together as if it were yesterday. I can no longer recall the way your eyes wrinkled under your bright smile or the sound of your echoing laughter but I do remember that warm feeling inside my chest, the pain in my cheeks from laughing with all my heart. How pleasant was it to be able to live it all with you? To be able to embrace you, to breathe you, to see you. Forgive me, my love, for I am no longer capable of picturing anything of you. I wish I could. I wish I could be haunted by a proper ghost, at least, and not just a glimpse of the range of emotions that animated me when you were by my side. All I can remember now is that you felt like a firework and that my eyes never met a prettier human. It’s so truly unfair to think about the fact that no one matters as much as you still do.
I am drifting off, am I? I always tend to do that in those letters. I hope you’re doing well, I really do. Did you spend your birthday with the ones who love you? I hope you’re happy and healthy. It’s the only important thing, or at least that’s what I have learned so far.
I hate those letters, they make me realize how lonely I am. Somehow, it feels like I’m expecting an answer that is never going to arrive.
Fuck. My skin aches from the lack of your touch. I miss you so fucking much. Just tell me what to do. I tried everything and you’re still stuck inside my brain. I’m a sorcerer for fuck’s sake, one of the most powerful beings to have ever existed and yet the concept of one single human defeats me day after day, rebirth after rebirth. I’m a fucking shame for my kind. I hate you. I love you so very much. Happy birthday.
Yours truly, Corpse Husband
The paper is stained by the storm that has been building up in Corpse's mind for hours. The letters are deformed now. Look at the mess you just made. He throws the letters away, where he can no longer see it and brings his knees to his chest, resting his head between his legs. He feels like screaming one more time but he’s choking. Sweet and sore agony grips his throat as his veins are burning with thick poison.
Don’t be fooled, Corpse would have been able to cast a spell or two to forget about your existence and spare himself a bit. Yet, it would only erase the last proof he had of you, not his feelings. He would have to bear the burden of a quest he could no longer figure out. He would be left longing for something that no longer existed. As if it wasn’t the case already. He wishes he could sleep, life would be so fucking easier if he could just fall asleep.
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A few days have passed since your birthday. The thread between days and nights is thin and confusing and the candle on Corpse’s desk is still radiating with as much energy as the first day.
Corpse’s head is heavy, aching, he wonders if he could still carry it on his shoulders if he wasn’t lying on his bed. That sore body feels like it has been drained from an eagerness that has been growing for too long. Corpse groans, trying to figure out what’s sheets and blankets and what’s limbs, living up to the name he chose for himself.
Every ray of the sun is burning his skin. It leaves his body smelling like heat, he doesn't like that smell. Now, he could just get up and draw the curtains but that laziness is as weary as infiltrated. If only it could rain, maybe it would soothe his nerves and his growing migraine.
After a few minutes of silent fulminations, Corpse finally unlocks his phone and opens his texts one by one just to ignore them. He’s curled up on himself, as if a compressed version of his darkness could help in order to block the light. Sorcerers are supposed to be tied with nature, with every ray of the moon and the sun. His bond with the sun is molded, if not completely doomed to grow untie. Corpse is a sorcerer like no others and that goes without saying.
One text captures his breath and his attention, bringing back some interest into the numbness. It’s coming from you, y/n. Or at least, the “you” from this present life. The “you” who isn’t aware of the past and the “you” Corpse doesn’t know is the one he has been looking for during eternity.
In this life, the two of you aren’t close enough to be friends -and he would never let you take that role- but, by the time of your first Twitter interaction -which consisted of you tweeting emo Sykkuno with tattoo pictures and Corpse replying with a meme that said "If life is a simulation please turn it off", Corpse knew you should be near him at all time. Not too close for you to actually be able to touch him but definitely not too far. It’s peculiar but something that has to be felt, not explained; a primitive hunch so loud it couldn’t be unheard.
His mind is awake again. The plan for today, which consisted of him rotting in his bed, seems compromised right now. Corpse turns to lay on the left side of the bed, where the sheets are cooler. His brows furrow and he sighs heavily as he rubs his eyes with his thumbs.
Corpse really doesn’t know why he’d feel that way in the first place for someone like you. You always seem so organic, radiating, so free in the way you choose to exist. He envies you for being so authentic when all he can afford to do is remain hidden, where no light can really reach him if not to draw a faint shape of his being. No harsh feelings though, it’s just the way he feels about anyone who doesn’t sound fake. There is still a bit of remaining endearment in the way Corpse’s words are thrown at you, you just have to know what to look for.
Now, Corpse trades his horror narrator's advices against some social media help. Those things are bigger than him, he’s too old for that anyway. You think the way he still uses symbols as emojis is charming -no one does that anymore- but Corpse just can’t keep up with today’s slang and way of showing emotions via texts. Kids these days are just too creative with the way they express themselves.
[Hello, Mr Sorcerer, hope you’re doing good. I need your help on something.]
Huh.
He meets your words and his mind gets coated in sweat, frozen blood preventing the next heartbeat from happening. Who told you?
Corpse can’t wrap his mind around the fact that his most precious secret is being exposed with that much negligence. He can count on his fingers the number of people who are aware of his true nature, half of them are actually other magical beings of some sort. It couldn’t be a coincidence.
His head is hammered by thoughts. He thinks he’s screwed, that everyone will know. He can already foresee what is about to come. That’s why there is a bit of fear in the way his eyebrows are arching. His alerted mind screams for him to just throw his phone across the room but his fingers, covered in panic, are faster. The first text he sends is not directed to you, but to Sykkuno, his familiar.
Familiars are to sorcerers what assistants are to magicians. In short -but not limited to- a massive help.
Corpse’s link with Sykkuno transcends the law of words and thoughts. They just understand each other and the way they do, without even having to see each other, is just something that has to be witnessed once in a lifetime. It’s a sort of energy that travels through space, a special connection. It's light and invisible but leaves a warm trail on its way.
However, what doesn’t transcend their bond is the concept of time zone -which Corpse forgot about for a second. Sykkuno is probably asleep right now. Corpse’s panic takes back its race once he realizes he’s on his own and he types:
[Haha, very funny. You know, if you wanted to talk, you just had to say hi :)]
Denial, that will do the trick, right? You can’t be that persistent. Or at least that’s what Corpse hopes when he leaves his phone on an unstable balance on his forehead, waiting for an answer he hopes would spare his mind from yet another issue he has to take care of.
[I knew you’d say that but don’t worry, I promise I won’t snitch,] you reply, lips twitching under a sly smile. [I’m way too afraid of you cursing me or something.]
[Who told you shit like that anyway?]
[I just know someone.]
His expression hardens, that head keeps throbbing harder and harder by the minute. You’re so impetuous and it turns him into an impatient and choleric fog. The topic is too important, crucial and it shows how you truly have no idea what you’re talking about when you act as recklessly as you do.
[Some crazy folk told you about magic and you believed them, huh? Thought you were smarter than that.]
[Dream would be pretty upset if he knew you called him “some crazy folk”.]
Corpse stares numbly at his screen before sitting back on his bed, pulling away from his vision the curly strands that fell down. He throws a bunch of silent curses at the sun which is still attacking him, if not even more now. He types a few words but erases them in a snap, repeating the process once or twice more. Now he has to send another text, this one is for Dream : “we need to talk.”
What a weird day.
Questions, Corpse has so many of them but he can’t stop shaking his head with confusion. He had no idea you knew Dream. Why would Dream reveal something so critical as Corpse’s identity? Why would another sorcerer send you his way? That’s not how things are done unless it’s something they deem they wouldn’t be able to handle and there’s really a few things Dream wouldn’t be able to do. Corpse hesitates for second, fingers fidgeting in the air. He doubts that he would ever be capable of doing something Dream can’t do but does it really matter when, right now, you’re holding information you should never be holding in the first place?
[Feeling like trading secrets under the full moon?] You outbid. It’s always so tempting to tease Corpse when he sounds like a grumpy old man.
[A sincere fuck you.]
[That’s very rude, Mr Sorcerer.]
The way you avoid providing any sort of explanation grows in his mind like weeds that need to be ripped off. Really, from all the good timing in the world, you had to choose the worst one. But there’s the faintest hint of a smile on his lips when he does the math and realizes that, if you wanted to use that secret to your advantage, you would have done it by now. A slow relief that softens his headache. Also, Corpse is well aware that, as annoying as you can get, he can’t refuse you a thing.
[Fine, tell me what you need.]
[So I keep seeing the same number again and again and your name keeps appearing in my head at random times. Still don’t get the correlation but I know there is one. I wanna know the number’s meaning and how I can get rid of you.]
Corpse huffs, he’d like to know that himself. He’s about to laugh it off when he reads the text one more time. Something about it is mysterious enough to pique his curiosity. You mentioned his name, it bothers him. Not that he doesn’t appreciate you thinking about him but because it sounds odd enough to be something related to magic in one way or another. There’s this mix of excitement and apprehension that fills the pit of his stomach and now half of a smile is embellishing his lips. This buzzing sound in his brain, maybe it’s the final signal that he should start practicing magic again, the final signal his life will feel thrilling again.
[Call you in 5. This is a consultation by the way, I’m not doing this for free.]
[Fine, you rat.] You answer with a victorious smile.
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Corpse’s words linger in the air. It’s smooth like velvet -you could almost touch it if you pictured it hard enough- and it’s soothing in some way. It’s deep mumbles and bits of light chuckles and a little magic. You’re spinning slowly on your chair, playing with strands of your hair. There’s a different tone in Corpse’s voice. He sounds tired and it’s mixed with something else you can’t really pinpoint. For the best or the worst, that, has yet to be determined.
“So.” Corpse says, bringing you back to reality. “What’s that number you were talking about?”
“Right. So, I keep seeing the number 5 everywhere. I wake up at 5:55 every morning. When my eyes are looking at the clock, it’s 5:55PM and it extends to absolutely everything.” You faintly slap your palm against your thighs in exasperation.
Corpse is silent for a moment as he tries to collect the bits of knowledge that are still hanging here and there inside his mind. As he expected, the pressure below his left eyebrow makes it hard to think. He really doesn’t get why Dream wouldn’t be able to take care of a matter that sounds so frivolous. It feels like the most important piece of the puzzle is missing , the one that makes the whole picture makes sense.
“Okay, this is not really my specialty but the number 5 is an interesting angel number.” Corpse hums. The word “specialty” echoes. Dream talked about that once and somehow, that’s how you finally realized that Corpse was, indeed, a sorcerer. Not that you wouldn’t believe the information in the first place but there’s a remarkable difference between learning and experiencing. What would be his specialty then?
Dream introduced you to this new veil a couple of months ago and you never fully believed in it before getting involved. Maybe that’s why you never talked about it to anyone. Even now, your skeptical nature always finds its way back to you. He said all sorcerers had specialties and that his was clairvoyance. You don’t really know what that means but you wouldn’t ask too much. Knowledge seems like a curse in that field, or at least that’s what you have learned from Dream’s distressed tone when he talked about the past. He always sounded like a broken record, a little out of tune, as if his soul was still partially stuck back there and maybe that’s why Corpse always sounded that way too.
“Do you believe in guardian angels?” You raise an eyebrow, high voice brimming with confusion.
“Do you?” Corpse pauses, you’re silent for a couple of seconds and he realizes that he won’t get an answer to that. “The number 5 is your guardian angel trying to tell you that things are about to change in your life. In fact, it means that the process already started.”
“You’re kinda scaring me though,” you say as you readjust your sit, nose wrinkling under an almost grimace. You don’t like it, you don’t like their world. It’s not yours, you’re only a human with a mere life and an almost mere job. Sometimes, you hate Dream for letting you on this secret you were now forced to keep. It always felt so two faced.
“You don’t have to be scared, the change is only gonna benefit you.” Corpse’s voice is soft and the way you can tell he believes in the words he is speaking is almost as surprising as reassuring. You can’t help it, you don’t like change. The unknown is called that way for a reason and maybe this reason is the explanation for why it needs to remain that way.
“Sure,” you coy. “What do I do about you? That’s what really interests me.”
He scoffs. Trust me, that’s what interests him the most as well. Yet Corpse knows no answer to that. He hesitates for a second and his eyes wander into the void. Should he let you know that he doesn’t have a clue, that it somehow scares him as much as it intrigues you? It feels like his broken sorcerer ego would crack even more if he did. Maybe he just had to find out before letting you know.
“Are you obsessed with me, y/n?” Corpse winces. Why would he have to travel through sarcasmland(™) to escape the question? His eyes go wide for a second, flickering on corners of his empty room. It’s only fair that he would tease you like you tease him, right?
“You’re just being annoying now,” you mumble, cheeks flushing in a vivid tint of pink and Corpse snorts.
Corpse almost forgot about himself for a second, about that damn candle, but it hits him once the conversation fades away and the static silence is the only thing left. So he gets up, grunts in complaint rooted out by sore muscles, turns his computer on and plays some rain sounds. The melody of droplets hitting the ground is reminding him how to breathe.
“Rain sounds, huh,” you whisper. “You like those.”
Corpse hums and the two of you are left listening to the rain. It tickles your ears pleasantly, so you close your eyes and relax in the back of your chair for a moment. It’s a beautiful disharmony if you really pay attention, just like Corpse is. You feel like the conversation is about to end, you don’t want him to hang up just yet.
“Corpse?” Your voice trails for a second and Corpse hums again. “Why did you decide to be faceless?”
“What did Dream answer to that question?” His tone is interesting, a bit higher than it probably should have been. What came up as conversation modalities turns into a piqued interest.
“He never answered me," you mumble.
“So people like you can’t take advantage of our nature in real life too,” he lies and you can tell by the half chuckle that travels with the answer.
You know you won’t get more from him, way less than you wish you did. Those faceless sorcerers always leave you hanging. They let you in on their little Hannah Montana life but never bear the consequence that is this endless and flowing well of questions. The rain rings heavily through your ears. It’s time for the call to end.
"Goodbye, Mr Sorcerer,” you sing before hanging up.
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When the darkness finally surrounds Corpse, he slips into a strange place that greets him with a familiar smell; vanilla and freshly cut grass. The birds are singing. He takes a long inspiration, his body knows before he does. Corpse looks around, trying to let the image of the surrounding setting sink in.
That place seems oddly familiar, yet totally new; a kitchen made of golden wooden walls. It's decorated with an old and distinguished taste. The wooden table is dressed with a pretty blue and red tablecloth. Vases of fresh flowers displayed on parts of the kitchen, dried herbs hanging above the sink in front of the window. It’s dipped in sunlight, too bright to be real. The rays of light are swaying with the shadows of branches which are dancing outside with the wind. Corpse doesn’t mind the light for once, he even closes his eyes for a second to let every pore of his body get soaked in it. God, did he miss that place.
“Honey, I was waiting for you.”
Corpse’s heart jumps a little before clutching harder. He knows who’s here, he knows it’s his unforgettable love and the idea makes him almost want to never open his eyes again. He can feel it, the profound kindness and sweet smiles that are surrounding you like it always have and it makes his eyes burn with tears that are ready to trail down his cheek, sobs jostling inside his throat. Corpse wishes he could just cover you in embraces and kisses but he can’t, he can never do that in those dreams.
Corpse tries his hardest not to let the frustration immerse him in bitterness by controlling his breathing which could get carried away at any moment now. He finally swallows it all to look at you. There’s a significant disappointment on his face when he realizes yours is as blurry as always. He wishes he could just witness this beauty one more time. He doesn’t remember what your face looks like, you’re not real. It’s nothing but a dream and you’re not here.
“I made some cookies for you.” The ghost of you says as it points out a chair that seems to have appeared out of nowhere, inviting him to take a seat as it does the same. “Those are your favorite, remember?”
With a voice sweeter than honey, so bewitching, Corpse’s body works on its own and mimics your gestures. His eyes are frozen on your silhouette. He tries to remember the shades and colors that were once painted on your face. If only he could remember.
“Did you redecorate our kitchen?” Corpse asks as he takes a bite of the cookie.
“Did I?” Your past self wonders out loud. “It’s been so long, I can’t tell.”
The treat tastes as good as it always has, Corpse takes another bite. The silence in the kitchen is delicate, contemplative. Outside, the weather is lovely; white clouds floating above the endless and bright green meadows. Corpse tries to take everything he can from that dream, from the peacefulness he feels now deep inside, and the perfume of your skin, to the sweet voice that caresses his ears. If Corpse could stay here forever, he would.
“Why are you here, my love?” You suddenly ask, forcing Corpse’s attention which he refuses by looking away.
“I wonder if the wind is warm or cool outside, maybe I should check.”
Corpse knows what happens every time you visit his dreams : you end up asking this question, he answers and suddenly he’s alone and you vanished into thin air. The response is always the same; because I miss you. It leaves him feeling lonelier than ever, craving a presence he can no longer be blessed with. Just a little bit longer, please. He blinks rapidly to expel the few tears that are forming in his eyes, so the knot inside his throat wouldn’t become more unbearable than it already is. Corpse is left feeling so desperate and helpless.
In a precipitation he almost can't control, he gets up and walks towards the door. He just wants to feel the wind on his skin. Please, just a bit longer. Corpse is almost at the door when his eyes deform with stupor under the pressure of a hand that grabs his sleeve. His heart stops, he was never able to touch you in a dream before. What changed? There’s a moment of hesitation before his eyes travel from your hand, to your arm, to your neck, to your face and he can no longer swallow his emotions when he dives into your eyes. Your eyes, he can see them.
When Corpse wakes up, wiped out of his dream, his breath is short and sweat pearls down his forehead. He’s in a rush, he remembers something about your face, something important. He knows what to look for now; your eyes, your irises. They don’t match in color. The left is green, the right has a pretty hazel color.
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☾ A/N : Welcome on this new AU my friends I’m so excited to have you here with me on this new journey! I hope you liked the first chapter. A big thank you to @moontwinkles for beta reading the chapter and being a big help 💗 How are we feeling about this? Faceless leo men being sorcerers and familiar Sykkuno??? Idk I’m a little too passionate about it. Don’t worry the next chapter won’t be as angsty as this one but I needed to express my thrist for angst lmao anyway let me know what you think! Until next time (ɔˆ ³(ˆ⌣ˆc)
☾ 𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻 *OPEN* : @open-minded-chip-101​ ; @lochness-butmakeitsexy​ ; @bizarrebibitch​ ; @bellomi-clarke​ ; @ladybismuth​ ; @katyasrussianaccent​ ; @satanhauntedourcats​ ; @owl-llie​ ; @teenloves​ ; @notannis​ ; @mcntsee​ ; @rottenroyalebooks​​ ; @peachdoppi​ ; @mirahg​ ; @foxxtrot-116​ ; @koi-soi​ ; @lupinpetersclearwaterodairparker ; @butterfly-skinnylegend ; @fanworrior ; @stickystrawberrysyrup ;
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Text
Fake dating Drabble No. 5
Today with Dave York and 2k (🤡) of being undercover married to him (F) because the neighbors are leaders of a terrorist organization. The leader get a little too handsy at the dinner you had been invited to and Dave does sell the jealous husband very, very well.  Steph’s fake dating Drabble week
Warnings: cursing, inappropriate touching, masturbation, implied sexual content
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It wasn’t like you had a choice when the CIA decided that you had to go undercover. It wasn’t the first time and it most likely wouldn’t be the last. But three months in, without having anyone to talk to except your partner, or the neighbors who most likely were the most dangerous people you had ever encountered, it was starting to frustrate you that there was no new information you could provide. But tonight the neighbors had invited you and your partner over for dinner.
Oh yes. You also had to pretend to be married to Dave York, who was your partner for this mission. It didn’t help that you were spending all your time with a man that always seemed to be plotting murder whenever you caught him starring looking at you. These last months were hard. You weren’t used to living with someone, let alone pretending to be in love as soon as you left the walls of the CIA proofed house you were living in with him.
Dave York was a mystery not only to you, but to everyone at the CIA. You always felt a little uncomfortable every time he looked at you and you couldn’t place why. He was nothing but polite towards everyone, but there was something dark surrounding him. Like he knew more than everyone around him. Like he knew all the dirty secrets. Your dirty secrets.
But it also had it’s advantages living with someone. It was nice waking up to the smell of coffee, a mug waiting for you on the counter just as you liked it, while Dave was checking his mails on his laptop. Part of your undercover identity was being the devoted housewife while Dave played the role of the husband who worked as an accountant from home.
You knew he had been married before, but somehow you never felt comfortable to ask him any personal questions. He never asked you either. Every other day you found yourself sitting next to him on the sofa after dinner, his arm on the couch behind you, without touching you, while you watched some netflix together. So people who walked by your house could see that you were a perfectly normal married couple.
He always let you decide what to watch.
“What do you want to watch?” you had asked one evening.
“I don’t really care. I don’t watch a lot of TV.”
“Really? And here I thought you were a couch potato,” you had a glass of wine on that evening and you could have sworn you saw him hide a smile before you started a new episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
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“You ready?” he asked through your closed bedroom door. You were occupying the master bedroom, while he slept in the guest room. You decided on a yellow summer dress for the dinner at your neighbors. You felt a little naked with your exposed shoulders and legs, but it was a hot day and it would make zero sense to be wearing something you could sneak your gun in. You knew Dave would be carrying a gun, he always did. And you had no choice but to trust him. Not that he had given you any indication as to not trust him.
You took one last look in the mirror before you walked towards the door and opened it. Dave looked at you, his eyes taking you in for a second before there was this twitch at his lips again. A small smile and this time you were sure of it and you had no idea how to feel about it.
“Come on, we gonna be late,” he said quietly.
He took your hand as soon as he locked the front door, a bottle of wine in his arm.
“If we’re lucky we are finally going to get some intel tonight. These fuckers are a suspicious bunch,” he said as he leaned closer to whisper. You nodded.
“I would be suspicious too if I was running a terrorist organisation from a suburban neighborhood.”
“True,” he chuckled, “You make sure to stay in sight. We don’t know what kind of people these are and I want you to be safe.”
“Aww are you worried about me, hubby?” you teased.
“No. I’m worried about them. I have no doubt that you could take them out if you want to.”
“Wow. That almost sounded like a compliment, Dave,”
“It was, just… Don’t try to be the hero. We knew this would be a longer mission and if we’re lucky tonight might finally be the start of getting things going.”
“I know,” you squeezed his hand and breathed in deep.
“Ready?” he asked. You nodded, plastering a fake smile on your lips as he knocked on the door.
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Dave really could play the perfect husband. He even remembered what you were allergic to, making sure that no trace of parsley could be found on your plate. At one point he excused himself to the bathroom, giving your leg a squeeze. His hand had been placed on your knee as soon as you had sat down at the dinner table and it almost seemed like he needed some kind of connection to ground himself. You spend enough time with him to know that he was on edge ever since he came back from smoking with the man you knew to be the leader of this whole organisation you were here to get more information from.
His hand went up to your shoulder when he got up and to your surprise he leaned down to kiss your temple before he left the room. You were so surprised by this gesture you almost jumped when you felt someone sit down next to you.
“So… How long have you been married?” he asked. You looked at him, Bill, the man who was responsible for thousands of deaths. You smiled, remembering the story the CIA had manufactured for you.
“Second anniversary is coming up.”
“How did the two of you meet?” he asked and you felt his eyes growing cold. You were now being interrogated.
“That’s a silly story,” you laughed, shaking your head in played embarrassment. Bill only looked at you, waiting for your answer.
“Well we went to College together. We never really had much in common. He’s into numbers, I’m more creative. After college we went our separate ways but years after I needed an accountant for my business and his name popped up.”
“What kind of business?” he asked.
“I used to own a flower shop back in DC. I sold it once Dave got the job offer here.”
“That must have been hard.”
“Not really. Where he goes, I go. And I’m actually looking into opening a new one. Just looked at some properties last week.”
“That’s nice. If you need any help just say the word. I have connections in this city,” Bill nodded, getting closer. It took everything in you not to flinch as his hand came down on your thigh. Much higher than it was appropriate. You gulped.
“I mean it, if you need anything, just say the word,” he was so close now you could feel his nose on your cheek. Closing your eyes you thought about all the ways you could break his wrists within the next 15 minutes when you heard Dave call for you as he walked back into the room.
“Everything okay?” he asked. Bill only looked up at him, giving him a smirk, before he squeezed your leg and let go of you.
“Everything’s fine. We’re just getting to know each other, isn’t that right?” he asked. You nodded with a smile that hopefully didn’t look too pained.
“Great. Well I hate to cut this short, but we got an early morning,” Dave’s hand was on your shoulder and you turned your head to look up at him, your hand coming down on top of his.
“Oh, well. It was nice getting to know you,” Bill said. You got up from your seat and Dave’s arm sneaked around your waist immediately, bringing you closer to him and you let your head fall against his shoulder.
“Likewise,” Dave said, following Bill to the door.
“You’re a beautiful couple. Let’s do this again,” Bill said, his eyes lingering on you. You only nodded, thanking him before you let Dave lead you down the Driveway.
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“Are you okay?” he whispered. You only nodded.
“If you would have come into the room 10 seconds later I would have blown our cover. Fuck he’s a creep.”
“He also is involved in way more shit than we originally thought,” he reached into the pocket of his pants, showing you a USB Flash Drive.
“What did you find?” you asked. He shook his head, looking over his shoulder.
“Not here,” he whispered. His arm around you tightened.
“He’s still watching?” you asked. He nodded. “Kiss me,” you whispered. Dave stopped walking and looked at you.
“You just saw someone touching your wife… I think we need to sell this better, I could feel him watching us all night.”
He breathed in deep, closing his eyes before they opened and he pushed you against the tree you just passed.
You couldn’t even take a breath before his lips crashed down on yours, his hand on the back of your hand, so he didn’t hurt you. He towered over you, his body pressed against your and you tried to suppress the moan at the feeling of his lips against yours but failed miserably. He used your surprise to dive his tongue into your mouth and your arms flew up to hold on to him.
“Dave…” you sighed.
“I’m right now playing a very, very fucking jealous husband sweetheart…” he groaned.
“Fuck…” you let your head fall back as his lip wandered down your neck. You felt his thigh between your legs.
“Is he still looking?” he asked, rubbing his thigh over your core.  You looked over his shoulder, seeing no one standing outside.
“No…” you gasped, rolling your hips. Fuck you were wet. He kissed you again, before he whispered against your lips.
“Good, then let’s go home.”
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You were more than confused. As soon as you were back in the house, Dave let go of you and went to his room with a mumbled “Good night.”
You on the other hand were still trying to get your brain to slow the fuck down. You were undercover. This was all just an act. Right? Dave York was the best agent around and he knew what he was doing. You had to get your libido under control just because he kissed you once. Groaning to yourself you stripped off your clothes to take a shower. Which should only have taken a couple of minutes, but you just couldn’t stop thinking about Dave. How his lips felt, how his hands felt, how it would feel if he would push you against the wall and fuck you senseless.
“Fuuuck…” you moaned quietly, touching yourself, growing frustrated when you just couldn’t make yourself cum, knowing he was just down the hallway. Shaking your head you got out of the shower, drying yourself off, not bothering to change into your pajamas. You needed to cum. Getting out your vibrator your sighed, wondering how big Dave was when you opened the door and found the man in question sitting on your bed, looking at you with hungry eyes, asking:
“Need any help with that?”
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alpacaparkaseok · 4 years ago
Text
Working Overtime
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requested by @thecaffeinatedscribbles​ - thanks for requesting! a picture of your request will be at the bottom of the post!
Pairing: BTS x reader
Premise: A freak storm forces the biggest band on the planet to spend the evening seeking shelter at your small cafe. Of course, you can't complain about having to work overtime.
"...remain indoors for the rest of the evening....further notice....stay safe everyone!"
You can't help but groan, the sentiment clearly reciprocated by Benny, the cook at the small cafe you work at. The two of you came to work expecting to be kept inside for a while - just because a storm was brewing didn't mean you got a free day. Chances were that customers might decide that the best way to spend the hurricane-like day would be at their favorite restaurant.
Well, their favorite clearly isn't this one. The cafe is completely barren, leaving both you and Benny to lounge around. Just waiting for the storm to pass.
Benny dug up an ancient radio from the supply closet, and spent thirty minutes tuning it before finding a station. The two of you have taken up two stools at the front counter, head down on the table while the staticky radio picks up every other sentence. "Well Bill, it looks like...that's right, Sharon, I was thinking the same-"
You'll never get to find out just what it was that Sharon and Bill were thinking about, because suddenly the front door flies open, nearly tearing itself off its hinges.
Both you and Benny turn around in shock, nearly slipping off your chair as you get a look at whoever these strange newcomers are.
It takes a few moments before they all file in - there's seven of them - and slip their hoods back.
It takes another moment before they manage to get their hair out of their face enough to actually identify them.
"I'm so sorry about that," Kim Taehyung apologizes as he throws his body against the door so that it will close properly. "We just saw that you guys were open-"
"Nobody else is open on this entire block," Park Jimin finishes, currently struggling to brush his fingers through his hair like he usually does. It's a bit more difficult now that it's been through such a windy atmosphere.
You and Benny exchange a look, clearly at a loss for words at the strange development. Together, the two of you let out a wry laugh.
"What are you boys doing out right now?" Benny asks, rising from his seat and motioning for them to hang their coats on the coat rack.
Everyone immediately turns to look at Jungkook, who's cheeks turn a little red even as he laughs.
"Someone wanted to see how windy is was," Seokjin drawls, glaring daggers at the youngest member of the group.
"And you willingly agreed!" Jungkook defends, pulling a laugh from you.
Huh.
They're just like the other boys you've met.
Silly. Irrational. Blindingly beautiful.
"Could we get you anything to eat?" You ask, slipping into waitress mode. "It sounds like you might have to be here for a while," you tap the radio, scrunching up your nose as a bit of dust flies up.
The boys settle down in the middle of cafe, pulling a few tables together. You place some menus before them, marveling at how they seem to bicker like your family.
They place their orders - enough to feed a small army, which, you suppose they are. You head back into the kitchen, prepared to help Benny with the order. However, you're a little surprised to see Seokjin and Yoongi trailing you, with a nervous Jungkook behind them.
"Oh, did you want something else?" You ask, smiling brightly. The two oldest members of the group chew on their lips, sparing the maknae a glare.
"Actually," Yoongi begins, his cheeks reddening, "Is it alright if we help with the order?"
You blink, unsure of what to say. "...what?"
Jungkook jumps into the conversation like an excited puppy. "Well, it's just that it's going to be a lot of food and it's just the two of you..."
"We're bored." Seokjin injects, laughing to himself. "Let us help you?"
Shrugging and praying that your boss won't decide to fire you over it, you lead them back into the kitchen. Benny grins when he sees the four of you.
"Come to learn from the best?" He boasts, his round belly proof of his amazing cooking skills. "Grab an apron, wash your hands. Prepare to learn, boys."
You cackle as the three highly successful (and blindingly beautiful) idols follow Benny's instructions, chattering excitedly between each other.
It only takes a couple of minutes before the rest of the group appear at the doorway to the kitchen, watching on with curiosity.
"Care to join?" Benny invites. You stand off to the side watching with endless amusement.
Taehyung joins in with glee, while Namjoon, Hoseok, and Jimin hang back. They look to you hesitantly.
"Could we actually help you bring the dishes out?" Hoseok asks timidly.
You smile. This has got to be the best shift ever.
"Yeah, if you want to. Want to come watch the kitchen go up in flames with me?" Jimin bursts out into a fit of laughter, pointing at you with pride on his face. "Oh, she's funny!” He walks over to you, leaning against the counter.
Namjoon and Hoseok follow suit a moment later, giving you kind smiles as they take up the spot next to Jimin. 
“We’re so happy you guys were open,” Hoseok comments, watching with a bit of apprehension as Jungkook tries to copy Benny’s movements. “I seriously thought we were going to die out there or something.”
“Agh you’re so dramatic hyung,” Jimin says, rolling his eyes. “But it is pretty bad out there. When do you think it’ll end?”
You shrug, stifling a laugh at Yoongi’s expression of long-suffering as he fields Taehyung’s questions.
“I’m not sure...probably not for another couple of hours, though. It’s going to be a mess trying to get home I bet.”
“Mmm.” Namjoon leans forward so he can see you properly. “Care to eat with us when the food’s done?”
Try as you might, you still end up blushing. “That’s alright, I don’t want to intrude on your meal-”
“I’m already making your food!” Jungkook shouts from where he stands watch before the oven. “Or...Jin is, I guess. But I’m making sure it doesn’t boil over!”
You give a shocked laugh, dropping your head in your hands. “I guess I will, then.”
Together, the four of you watching from the sidelines being to commentate every move that’s made within the kitchen. 
“Oh, that was a bad move Yoongi,” Jimin chides. 
“Shut up,” Yoongi responds, not even looking over.
Jin nearly drops a potato, earning quite the reaction from you. “Kim Seokjin, if you drop that potato so help me!” 
Everyone in the room pauses for a moment, Jin looking over at you with wide eyes. A moment later, they all dissolve into a fit of laughter, Jin making a show of setting the potato down with car.
“Better?” He asks. You nod.
“Much better, thank you.”
In the matter of an hour, you’ve made yourself completely at home with these complete strangers. Benny begins making more food, getting overly-excited at having willing students. Time drags on, and eventually you all ditch the idea of eating out at the tables, opting to hop up on the bar and watch the chaos unfold.
“How long have you worked here?” Jungkook asks with a mouth full of food. He ditched the kitchen a few minutes prior, deciding that it would be better to eat than learn. Hoseok replaced his presence in the kitchen.
You blow on your soup before taking a bite. “Umm...a couple of years? It’s been a good college job, I think.”
They nod along, watching at Jin wanders over. He makes a show of looking exhausted, leaning up against the opposite counter. “Is the food good?”
“Delicious,” Namjoon says.
“What do you want to do when you make it out of here?” Jimin asks.
You frown, looking down at the counter. “I...I actually really love graphic design. I don’t know, I just think it’s the coolest thing ever. There’s so much that could be done with it, too.”
When you look back up again, you find Namjoon and Jimin locked in a silent conversation. A second later, they look back to you with smiles. 
“What?”
Jimin shrugs. “Nothing. Graphic design is cool, don’t you think, hyung?”
Jin nods weakly, eyeing your soup. You take the hint, blowing on the spoonful you have. “Want to try it?”
He looks at you a little sheepishly. “Can I? Is that too weird?” You shrug your shoulders. 
“It’s a weird day. Might as well go for it.”
That’s all the motivation he needs.
The storm doesn’t let up for a long while, but you’re kept busy with the boys. They all take turns in the kitchen except for Namjoon, who claims that he’d be more harm than help. 
Together with Namjoon and Taehyung, you turn up the volume on the radio. The static makes it hard to understand, but you hear enough.
“subsided for now...remain cautious, but the worst is over.”
You let out a shout of excitement, pounding the table. Taehyung jumps a bit, laughing. “I think the storm is ending!” 
Benny hardly hears you, but the boys do. They also shout with you, except for Namjoon who suddenly receives a phone call. He’s on the call for all of thirty seconds before it ends. 
“Hey guys, that was Sejin...we need to head out.”
You frown, but try not to let it get to you. “Thanks for hanging out with Benny and I.”
The boys each take their leave, thanking you and Benny profusely. Jungkook hops on his feet as Benny fills a couple of takeout boxes for him. They quickly exchange numbers with the two of you, vowing to return soon.
“We’ll just put you in our group chat, alright?” Hoseok says, typing away at his phone. 
“How much do we owe you?” Yoongi asks, grabbing his wallet from his back pocket. Both you and Benny immediately wave them off. 
“Nothing,” Benny declares. “Thank you for keeping us company. That was enough.”
“Really, let us pay you-”
“You guys need to get going,” you interrupt, smiling at Yoongi. “Really, don’t worry about it.”
They leave, grumbling the entire way. Once the door has closed behind them, you and Benny exchange looks. 
“That was...”
“Freaking awesome,” Benny finishes for you. You chuckle. 
“Yeah, it was.” Sighing, you slip off of the bar. “I’ll put the chairs up and then come help you clean up.”
Benny waves you off. “I don’t have much to clean, Hobi did most of it.”
“Oh-ho, you even call him ‘Hobi’!” Heading into the dining area, you go toward the table that the boys were originally going to sit at. Something catches your eye before you can put the chairs up.
“Benny!” You shout, hands shaking a little as you grab the paper. 
It’s a note, hastily written but legible. 
Thank you for the meal and new friendship - please confirm the Venmo request we send to you. All the best: Bangtannies
Almost as though timed, both your and Benny’s phones chime. You gawk at the ridiculous amount of money, but you nearly burst into tears at the text message that follows it.
Bangtan: This is the number of the head of graphic design at Bighit. They’ll be in contact with you within the next couple of days - keep a lookout for it!
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kung-laos-hat · 4 years ago
Text
Fool
Kung Lao x Fem!Reader
Warning: Contains major spoilers from Mortal Kombat 9, including quotes from the actual script. :) kinda follows the canon but also doesn’t considering this is an x reader ‼️Not Proof read yet‼️
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AN: words of affirmation and acts of service love language goes brrrrr
Summary: Kung Lao is devastated that his best friend and the girl he loves get to complete in the tournament without him, so he does what any sane person does: sneaks his way onto the island and challenges Scorpion in an attempt to impress the reader :D
“We’ll be back before you know it, Lao.” (Y/n) said, placing a hand on Kung Lao’s shoulder.
He chuckled nervously and nodded, trying his best to seem at ease but the uncertainty in his eyes gave it all away. It didn’t matter how long they trained or how prepared the elder monks thought (Y/n) and Liu Kang were. (Y/n)’s attempts at comforting the young man were fruitless.
It wasn’t just that he was worried for his childhood friends’ safety. There was no denying that was definitely one of the reasons he was reluctant to see them off, but aside from that he was envious. And how could he not be? The two of them were chosen by the elder monks to represent their section in the tournament where some the greatest fighters would be present.
Sure, he always knew the elder monks would choose (Y/n). She was the perfect fighter in his eyes. (Y/n) was clever, cunning, and quick on her feet. It just made sense that she’d be the first choice.
However, that left that second slot open for debate, and the primary candidates were Liu and Lao. Now Kung Lao promised himself that no matter what the elder monks decided, he wouldn’t let that drive a wedge in his relationship with his cousin, and he’d been fairly true to his word so far. He was proud of Liu, really.
But time went on and Raiden suggested that it’d be best for Liu and (Y/n) to train together in private, allowing them to grow accustomed to each other’s moves, strengths, and weaknesses. This would come in handy if the two of them should ever find themselves in a position in which they had to fight opponents together. Of course, Liu and (Y/n) already had established a close friendship, but there was nothing wrong with a little refining.
Lao had no problem with this, that is, until the tournament grew closer, and he began to see less and less of the duo. (Y/n) in particular almost seemed to be avoiding him, but Kung Lao knew her better than to assume that was the case. Yes, Liu Kang and (Y/n) were close, but not as close as Kung Lao and (Y/n). The three of them were the best of friends since childhood, but Lao always felt like there was something special between him and (Y/n) that just wasn’t present in her relationship with Liu.
(Y/n) had her fair share of sneaking out, having midnight conversations, and causing mischief amongst the other pupils, with Liu, sure, but it was Kung Lao she always turned to when in need of comfort. Somehow (Y/n) preferred to talk about her problems with Lao, and boy did he love it when she did. It was like seeing a completely gentler, more authentic side of her.
Because of this, Lao simply noticed things about (Y/n) no one else did. He knew what made her happy, and when one night she expressed how anxious training made her, he began to go out of his way to do some of her daily chores along with his own or do little things such as make her a snack. Of course, his pride would never allow his to flat out tell her he’d be doing all of this just because.
No, it was always,
“I just happened to make too much to eat by myself.”
Or
“Don’t look too deep into it. If I didn’t do your laundry for you, you’d probably let it lay around your room. Then you’d have nothing clean to wear and you’d start stealing my clothes.”
Soon enough, Lao’s thoughts were flooded with nothing but (Y/n), and everyday he was forced to remember that she and Liu Kang were spending more and more time together, and eventually would be sent off to potentially die. This not only rubbed salt in the wound of not being chosen, but created a new fear for the poor young man.
God, what if (Y/n)’s opponent didn’t spare her? Would Liu Kang or Raiden interject? Kung Lao knew he would. He’d do anything to keep her safe. Hell, he’d throw away his pride and get on his hands and knees to beg if it meant saving (Y/n).
Was that why Liu Kang was chosen and not him? Because he was a better match for (Y/n)? Did the elder monks think he was more capable than him than much? Or was it (Y/n) who chose Liu Kang to fight beside her?
Now here he stood before her, soaking in her presence potentially for the last time. (Y/n)’s hand lingered on his shoulder a little longer, then she signed and took both of his hands in her own.
“What is it?” She asked, looking up expectantly.
Lao blinked, “What?”
“You’ve got that look on your face. Y’know the one that screams ‘I’ve got something to say, but I’m a wuss so instead I’m going to dwell in my room immediately after you leave,’” (Y/n) teased.
Lao half smiled and pulled his arms away. “It’s nothing, I’m just worried for you two.”
(Y/n)’s face softened and she offered him a small smile. “Hey, don’t worry about me. Liu Kang’s bad temper, maybe, but I’m sure I’ll be okay out there.” She opened her arms and embraced Lao, which he quickly accepted.
“After all,” (Y/n) said pulling away slightly and flicking the tip of Kung Lao’s hat, “I trained with the best.”
“We’ve got to get going!” Liu called out from a few feet away at the enterance of the temple.
With that, she placed a small kiss on Lao’s cheek and ran off to join him and Raiden.
“You better return in one piece!” Kung Lao called out jokingly.
“If I don’t, you better build me a cooler body!” (Y/n) laughed, waving her hand over her head.
With a flash of light, the three of them were gone.
___
So far the introduction to the tournament was running smoothly. (Y/n) had managed to hold pleasant conversations with a few other competitors, including one by the name Johnny Cage. (much to Liu Kang’s distain. Apparently Johnny had accidentally disrespected Raiden and was under the impression that everyone there was just really into roleplay. But aside from being a little arrogant, (Y/n) didn’t mind him.)
(Y/n) had been selected to do a quick demonstration fight against none other than Princess Kitana, who put up a good fight but in the end didn’t stand a chance against her. While the princess laid half on the ground, (Y/n) was given the option to either finish her off or spare her. Despite (Y/n) choosing mercy, Kitana didn’t take this defeat well, but did her best to maintain her composure as the two retreated inside to tend to their wounds.
“...Why did you—,” Kitana began in a low whisper. (Y/n) turned to her and helped her hand, palm out, in front of her chest.
“You’re an excellent fighter. One with true talent, princess, believe me.” (Y/n) chuckled, “To take a life such as yours would be a waste. Don’t let one little defeat become a deterrence.”
The ghost of a smile graced Kitana’s lips. “You know, you’re a fool to be so kind to your enemies. The next time we meet might not be under such pleasant circumstances.”
(Y/n) huffed, “A fool, yes, but at the very least I’ll be remembered for it.”
———
The fighting continued on without the two girls for a while until Shang Tsung granted an intercession. (Y/n) made her way to Liu Kang’s side and nodded at him. He glanced down at her neatly bandaged hands and huffed in amusement, knowing damn well that when they returned home, his companion planned on showing off her “battle scars” to Kung Lao in an attempt to impress him. As they waited for the next match to begin, Liu Kang filled her in on what she’d missed during the Johnny Cage versus Reptile fight.
“I wish you could of been here to see it, (Y/n). I got second hand embarrassment from how arrogant he sounded.” Liu rolled his eyes.
(Y/n) stifled a giggle and covered her smile with her hand, but as she did this, she noticed one particular bodyguard’s eyes watching her intently from behind his helmet.
He was a bit of a distance away, but somehow it felt like his stare was burning through (Y/n)’s skull, and the very thought of that sent a chill down her spine. She awkwardly cleared her throat and turned to face the other direction, her fingers slightly latching onto Liu Kang’s arm defensively.
The rest of the day was nothing short of eventful. Raiden had requested that she accompanied him into the underground sections of the island, where she became acquainted with Sonya Blade and Jax, and even got to witness Sonya fight a man named Kano. Johnny Cage and Liu Kang eventually joined them, and there they established a sort of team while Raiden explained the severity of losing the tournament.
Afterwards Sonya and (Y/n) parted ways with the men and accompanied each other to their designated bedrooms, which, luckily, were located across from each other. As they walked, the two women got to know each other a little better. Sonya told (Y/n) more about how she came to meet Jax, her life in the army, and how she eventually ended up on the island. In turn, (Y/n) told her about her life with the White Lotus Society and Raiden. They went back and forth, trading silly childhood and training tales until they came across a certain mural in one of the main hallways.
(Y/n) paused in front of it and smiled fondly at the depiction of a man standing victoriously over his enemy on a great cliff or something of the sort.
She turned to Sonya and smiled excitedly. “The Great Kung Lao,” she explained, “He’s a legend back home. Truly one of the greatest fighters the White Lotus ever produced.”
She proceeded to retell the story of Kung Lao’s victories back in the day, and Sonya listened intently.
“So that’s your motive then, huh?” Sonya chuckled.
(Y/n) raised an eyebrow, “What do you mean?”
“Well I’ve got my mission to save Jax, Cage wants his fame... what about you? What’s your motive? Aside from the monks selecting you, that is.”
(Y/n) glanced back up at the mural, then back to Sonya. “A descendent of his— the great Kung Lao, I mean.” Suddenly (Y/n) felt incredibly shy and began to fiddle with her hands.
“Liu Kang?” Sonya tilted her head.
“No!” (Y/n) exclaimed, laughing slightly, “A friend of ours, actually.” As she spoke, her tone was laced with a certain fondness.
Sonya smiled, “A friend?”
“Yes, Miss Blade. A friend. Anyways, he helped me create all of my best moves. I hate to admit it, but I basically modeled my fighting style after what he taught me when we were kids.” (Y/n) faintly blushed and smiled to herself.
“So... that’s it then? You want to impress him?”
“I mean— I just—,” (Y/n) struggled to find words, “I mean of course that’s not all of it. Of course I’m here to protect the Earthrealm first, but...”
She glanced up at the mural once more.
“I don’t know, I want him to see how much I’ve improved recently.”
Truth be told, (Y/n) had always admired Kung Lao growing up, but it wasn’t until around their late teens or early twenties that she’d began to admire him a little more than usual. And because of that she’d begun to lose her focus around him. Sure, he had always been terribly strong, smart, and witty beyond compare, but as they grew (Y/n) began to notice how charming he was or how nice he looked without his gear on.
Or even how differently he treated her compared to everyone else.
———
The next day the fighters returned to the island’s arena. Shang Tsung and the monks took to their spots while Quan Chi stood at the foot of the throne.
Liu Kang and (Y/n) exchanged anxious glances At eachother. After the events of last night, (Y/n) could tell her friend’s nerves were a little shaken, despite how composed he seemed. She silently patted his back as a masked guard crossed his arms and moved a little closer to where they stood with Raiden.
“Kombatants! the next match will now begin!”
In a burst of flames, Scorpion teleported into the center of the arena. Everyone gasped in awe, and (Y/n) and Liu Kang shared looks of pure admiration.
“Scorpion!” Shang Tsung called out, “Specter of the Netherrealm! Resurrected by the sorcerer Quan Chi! Who among you is worthy of this challenge?”
“Where is the Lin Kuei Sub-Zero? He killed my family and clan. I will have his head!” The masked man snarled.
Without order, the mask guard standing closest to Raiden promptly walked to the center with Scorpion, discarding his mask and armor as he went.
“I accept the challenge!”
(Y/n)’s face fell. She knew that voice, and it definitely wasn’t Sub-Zero. She looked up at Liu with a worried expression, and he returned her stare with his own.
“Kung Lao?” He whispered as he turned back to the two men standing before them.
“Nevermind the Lin Kuei. Now you face a Shaolin.” He announced.
“Kung Lao, what are you doing here?” (Y/n) muttered under her breath.
The man ran two fingers over the brim of his razor sharp hat and turned his vision toward where (Y/n) stood with Raiden and Liu Kang. He pointed directly at the girl.
“(Y/n).”
Oh god.
“I dedicate my soon to be victory to you, my most prized companion.” He said firmly.
She looked around the arena at the other fighters with a mortified expression and caught Sonya and Johnny hiding their smiles under their hands.
“Please don’t do this, Kung Lao.” (Y/n) begged, sweat beginning to form on her temple from the sudden embarrassment she was feeling.
“It has to be done.” He said, assuming a fighting stance.
“All this nonesense to impress (Y/n) (L/n),” Scorpion huffed, “You will regret your impulsiveness.”
The fight commences, and although Kung Lao is a master of the Shaolin arts and a great fighter, his attempt at overpowering someone who’s spent years trapped in the Neatherrealm soon proved to be futile. (Y/n) could feel herself cringe at every severe blow Scorpion landed to Lao’s torso until he ultimately beat him into an unconscious state on the floor.
(Y/n) tore away from the crowd and rushed to Lao’s side, swiftly but gently lifting his torso onto her lap, cradling his head in her arms as his hat laid in the dirt beside them. Scorpion looked down at her, the pity in his eyes seemed almost unbearable to (Y/n).
“He is not yet a warrior. I apologize, (L/n), I did not mean to cause you embarrassment.” He nodded.
(Y/n) shook her head and let out a small laugh. “Don’t be sorry, Scorpion. There’s no bad blood between us.”
“Kung Lao!” Liu cried out shortly after as he jogged over to aid them.
He thre Kung Lao’s arm over his shoulder and housed him up, carrying him out of the arena as Lao came to. Raiden and (Y/n) followed shortly behind.
“Listen when your elders speak!” He scolded, “You could not win this fight! And lost it at the expense of both you and dear (Y/n)’s expense!”
“Master, please, that’s enough. He meant no harm.” (Y/n) defended as they entered the main hall.
Raiden sighed angrily, “Take him to the nursery and get him cleaned up.” With that, he turned back around.
———
“Are you sure you want to tend to his wounds by yourself? It’d go a lot faster with my help...” Liu Kang said as he stood in the doorway.
“It’s fine, Liu,” (Y/n) waved him off, “It’d look bad if both of us weren’t present during today’s fights.”
(Y/n) turned around and subtly motioned to Kung Lao, who was spread out on a bench, and shot Liu an expecting look that said, ‘Get out, dumbass, I want to speak with him in private.’
Liu Kang mouthed a silent ‘oh,’ in realization and nodded. “I’ll leave you to it, then. Take care of him, and I’ll be back later to check on the two of you.”
He eagerly left the room and shut the door behind him, leaving the two together in awkward silence.
(Y/n) sighed and turned to the cabinets to retrieve a towel and bandages.
Kung Lao sat up and huffed in annoyance, “Why must the two of you talk about me as if I’m not here, (Y/n)? I’m perfectly capable of tending to myself, you don’t have to stay.”
(Y/n) furrowed her eyebrows together but said nothing. She continued on gathering her materials and laid them out on the counter beside them.
“Are you upset with me? Is that what this is?”
Still nothing.
“What? Do you want me to apologize? Look, I’m sorry if I embarrassed you, (Y/n)—,”
“Why are you here, Lao!?” She interrupted sharply.
He scoffed, “Proving I’m equivalent to Liu Kang.”
(Y/n) shook her head angrily. “Why!?” She dipped her small towel in a bowl of water and squeezed it. “You don’t have to prove anything, I don’t understand.”
“Of course you don’t—,”
“Then help me here, Lao. Explain— Did Raiden... or the elder monks— did they say something to you?”
“That’s not it.” He glanced down.
“Did something happen? I don’t—,”
“It’s you, (Y/n). You’re the reason.” He blurted.
The room was silent again.
“Oh.”
(Y/n) slowly turned around and made her way over to Kung Lao, beckoning for him to give her his arm. She avoided his gaze as she placed the damp towel over a large gash in his shoulder.
“I’m very sorry then... Whatever I did, I didn’t mean to make you feel this way.” The heartbreak in her tone was prominent.
Kung Lao sighed, “No— sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s my fault.”
(Y/n) paused, “What do you mean?”
Lao timidly placed a hand on her shoulder. (Y/n) looked up at him in confusion and scanned his face. He was giving her the same look he had on the morning she left for the tournament. The one that made it seem like he desperately wanted to say something but didn’t know how, or couldn’t muster up the courage to flat out say it.
Kung Lao groaned and burried his face in her other shoulder.
“I like you.” He mumbled, “There, I finally said it. It’s foolish, isn’t it? That I did all of this just because I wanted you to admire me back? I knew the elder monks didn’t choose me for a reason. I’m sure I couldn’t have handled the tournament, anyways—,”
“That’s not it at all!” (Y/n) cried, gingerly wrapping her arms around his torso, “It’s my fault you weren’t chosen, I’m sure of it.”
“I don’t understand,” He said, looking up.
(Y/n) sighed, “It was originally supposed to be us two. At the tournament, I mean. The elders said our fighting styles complimented eachother the most out of the three of us. But then I started to slip up during training whenever you were around. I’m sorry, I thought they’d replace me with Liu Kang, but—,”
“They replaced me instead...” Kung Lao finished.
“You are no lesser of a great fighter than Liu Kang. It truly is my fault, Lao.” (Y/n) confessed.
Kung Lao blinked and was silent for a moment. “So... you were slipping up because...?” A cheeky smile slowly made its way onto his face.
(Y/n) signed and hid her face in the crook of his neck.
“I like you too, you idiot monk. I always have.”
Kung Lao laughed, “Why didn’t you tell me!?”
“What didn’t you tell me!?” (Y/n) argued playfully.
“What? Was doing all your chores and things not enough of a sign for you?”
“Well, clearly they weren’t. Otherwise I wouldn’t have been so stressed over the matter.”
“Oh goodness...” Kung Lao chuckled.
They two sat there, holding each other, for a moment until (Y/n) pulled away.
“I have to finish cleaning your wounds, Lao.”
He nodded and sat up straight, removing his shirt so (Y/n) could clean the wounds on his chest.
As he looked down at her hands, gently pressing the towel to his wounds, applying the medicine where needed, and wrapping them up neatly, his eyes couldn’t help but trail over her lips. This wasn’t the first time, naturally, but know that he had confirmation that she was finally his...
He swooped down and captured her hips with his in a chaste but sweet kiss that lasted no more than a few seconds. (Y/n) stared up at him in surprise.
“Too soon?” He half laughed.
She shook her head, “Not at all.” (Y/n) wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him back down for a real kiss.
Their lips locked softly once again, and the two of them could feel the sense of pure joy and excitement building up in their chests. (Y/n)’s eyes fluttered closed as Kung Lao deepened the kiss. As Lao moved his lips against hers, it tasted sort of metallic from the dried blood that remained on Lao’s lips beforehand, but (Y/n) didn’t seem to mind.
When they finally pulled away, Kung Lao rested chin on top of (Y/n)’s head.
“You’re a fool, Kung Lao,” (Y/n) said endearingly.
He kissed her hair and let out a small laugh.
“For you, perhaps.”
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